Twenty-one Years Later...i'm Finally Done!!!

Hi Everyone,

                   My story is so long and complicated but i will try to keep it as simple as posssible. Married 21 years, three kids. A man who on the outside is charming, great father, and husband. I feel like I awoke from 21 year sleep just two months ago. I was arrested and taken out of my home on January 1st for punching my husband and giving him a well deserved black eye. Even though it caused me some legal trouble..I don't regret it. He had just told my 17 year old sold who I accidently gave ONE extra medication he was on(I forgot i gave it to him) when he was younger that I OVERDOSED him on purpose. For the past year my husband had started experience some mental depression, and paranoia. So whatever  negative behavior he exhibited with me for twenty one years just got ten times worse. My kids for the past three months before my arrest were begging me to leave him. Before this they both my 17 year old son and my 15 year old daughter had a great relationship with him. But I have no family in the area and no where to go...I'm sure many of you here have heard that before. He isolated me fro all friends and family and finances I couldn't do nothing. I don't know if anybody else has this experience but my husband is the biggest manipulator I have ever known. I mean unbelievable. Because of the arrest I am in an apartment with my two oldest is away at college(dad can do no wrong) and I've had time to think, and think, and think. Away from him I have been able to really see what I haven't seen before. I just told him I want a divorce. I went through hell and I'm sure there is more to come but this hell will be easier because I'm in my own place and I lock my door and hang up or WOW what a concept don't take his calls!!! What I'm feeling now is Where have I've been for the past two decades? He took my brain. He told me how I feel, he was such a manipulator any decision I made he made me think was mine but was really his. When CPS came after my arrest. They recognized him right away. They called him a gaslighter. They said he uses my kids as pawns against me. I thought they were exaggerating. They weren't. He calls my daughter to find out what I'm doing making the poor girl think he enjoys talking to her(She's 15), he was the doting father taking my son to his psychiatrist appointment (ADD,and Asperger), meanwhile he was feeding the doctor information about me insinuating I was a bad mother. Because me and my son had a bad relationship..I thought because we just did for some reason but yet I couldn't understand his hatred towards me. It turns out he was saying  bad things to my son about me in a way that didn't souind like he was...We are talking about him doing this for years. Me and my son talked when everything happened (he's 17). Between our talks and what I have put together this is what I found out. Now me and my sons relationship is better than ever. He can't stand his father and has chosen to have nothing to do with him. There is so much more but I don't have any privacy to finish my story right now...but I just wanted to introduce myself I'm 43 and I live in Somers, NY. And January 1, 2009 is my new birthday.   Thanks I'll have more to say soon.....Love yourself Marie 

formerpuppet formerpuppet
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 12, 2009

Awesome you! I could say that about 10 times. You're brave, smart and on the up..not down. Well done, you. This joker put your family thru enough. Break out and live a good life. Welcome and I salute you Marie.

Hi Marie, welcome to Ep and thanks for so bravely sharing your story! Sounds like you are making your way through a really rough patch - Im sure you will meet heaps of people here who can help support you and get you through.<br />
Good on you for leaving him, Im sure the world holds nothing but good things for you - may they show up sooner rather than later!!