Just Separated!


I joined this group as I have just recently split up with my partner of 20 years (married for 8 of them) - which is causing a bit of emotional distress.  He left me 6 months ago and in that time, I've sold my house, moved up to another part of the country to be with my family, have started a new part-time job and made one or two friends. I  belong to a book group where I live and a couple of other groups too to help develop my social network.   I left my dear friends behind to start afresh somewhere else - it was too painful to stay in our house and the town where we lived,  where I would have had constant memories of him.  I'm still in touch with them - and am due to see a good many of them in a couple of months which I'm looking forward to.

I keep myself busy as far as possible - leaving myself with one day off a week...but even that is proving a bit of a struggle!  Whenever I think of him, tears just keep welling.  I know time will heal the pain....but its a bit of a long haul.  He just upped and left - one day he was in love with me, the next he said he'd fallen out of love with me and in love with someone 20 yrs his junior! Everything just unravelled he said!

I don't want him back at all - but its not easy to live with him in my thoughts.  I almost feel I've wasted 20 years of my life on him...for many reasons! .   Sadly I don't think I could trust anyone ever again - its no longer a pleasing thought to think of spending my life with another person.  I honestly don't think I could let anyone else into my life.  That said though it hasn't stopped me being sociable, or going out to work.  I still get on with life, but the difference now is that deep inside I'm so not the happy bunny I used to be!

If anyone in this group has had a similar experience and can let me know how they got over it, emotionally speaking, I'd be very grateful. 

Good wishes to you







sungazer sungazer
Mar 25, 2009