I Dont Have Feelings For This Man

Found this site quite by accident.  I have been single for about 6 years and always seemed to find the wrong kind of guys.  I found one that is so good to me and treats me like a queen.  Nothing is too much trouble.  After 2 months he said the "L" word and I nearly had a fit (quietly though).  I just dont feel anything for this man.  He doesnt make my knees go weak and I do not find him physically attractive at all.  I have told him this, and I know I hurt him terribly, but I was honest and he suggested  having a break at the moment. 

Deep down I know he is a fabulous guy but I just cant fake feelings.  What I am asking is...

At my age (late 40's) do you ever get the butterflies and weak knees or is it all just pretend.  I gave it a little time to see if I grew to have feelings, but its just not happening.  What is wrong with me.

He says I am everything he ever wanted, this makes me feel worse.  Please help

What I am asking is should I stick it out, because at my age there arent too many nice men out there.  And the ones I really like dont like me in that way.  Should I just settle?

M (australia)

Reezie Reezie
46-50, F
4 Responses Nov 4, 2009

Hi everyone, thanks so much for your comments. This issue has now been resolved. I pretty much made up my mind to cut all ties with this man after reading the comments. He hassled me for a short time, but soon got over it and he has now moved on. I am very happy for him. <br />
Me.... well I am not seeing anyone special and I am good with that. I am concentrating on improving and loving myself. I have been doing much soul searching and am acutally happy for once in my life. Even surprised myself !!!

Dump him. Do not string him along. If you think he's a nice guy, and you string him along, you may lead him to stop being so nice. He's not for you, and that's fine. But he's great for someone else and they just haven't met yet. Let him go, and quickly, so they can meet.

Hi - just wonder about the butterflies in the stomach and decision making. So many people have the love at first sight, weak knees, etc etc, the marriage could not last 1 month. There must be common interest for a union to last. If there are non, the love, emotion, etc will be gone quickly. How many broken marriage because of lack of cash to sustain the love and fresh air. This is a very real world. Sorry for being so blunt in this note.

Hi, <br />
I'm sorry you went through this, don't know if you still are. I know exactly what you are going through. If you sincerely do not have feelings for him, don't make yourself go through the emotions. (OMG, I've felt this stuff sooooo many times in my lifr!) You will only be sorry in the long run. Where you meet guys is also a concern. Bars are indefinetly out, they only want one thing. I suggest a serious sit down talk with this guy, but whatever you do, DO NOT keep letting him feel that there will be a possibility in the future with the two of you. And don't play that "maybe if I hurt his feelilngs or make fun of him around other friends" thing with hopes that he will just give up. That's just totally not right. (been there two, but me the victim)<br />
<br />
I hope this helps. Out there somewhere, there's somebody. Don't rush it. Be yourself and smile and be friendly.<br />
<br />
Good luck<br />