Life Limbo

I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I'm not referring to a career. I'm referring to my LIFE. I used to be a very optimistic person but things have not turned out for me as planned over the past several years and I'm beginning to lose hope. I have a great career, I love my job but I don't have anything else besides that. My biggest issue is that I'm tired of being alone and it is causing me alot of anxiety. I worry about never finding anyone, I worry about not being able to have kids because I waited too long, I worry about dying alone....I don't want to have a meaningless existance. I want to have someone who will share memories with me, share my experiences with... I hope this year will be different. I have never visualized my life without being married w/kids by this time. I wake up in the morning wondering 'is this it"? If I'm not supposed to be a mother or wife or have any sort of family of my own, what else should I do with my time. This might sound trivial to some people but there's an emptiness and an ache in me that is yearning to be filled with that kind of love. I have volunteered at children's centers, I've fed the homeless, I've counseled battered and abused women- call me selfish but these things have not fulfilled an emptiness in my life. It is a hurt that continues to grow worse everyday.

Sunshyne909 Sunshyne909
31-35, F
Feb 28, 2010