A Am Hating My Life Little By Little..

everyday of my life, im starting to hate it little by little. i was born so hopeless with no place to live on.  my life is dictated by my parents even though i am not happy about it. im following them because i don't want them to hate me. im doing my best to show them how good i am. but still they just ignore me. they chose not see the things in me when im at the top. but they can see clearly the flaws that i had made and try to put me down. no one helps me when i am down, i just stand on my own. so why do i need to do the things that made me on top when they'll just only ignore it?!

i can only show a little of me to my friends. i am a cheerful and kind person said my friends. but im sorry to say that i just wear a mask to show that i am happy. (no one knows this one). i don't want to show my friends how sad i am. because i want others to be happy. tryin' to cheer them up that'll makes me happy for a short time. i am a good advisor said my  friends also, i can solve almost but not all of their problem,  but still i cannot solve my own problem. 

i am very different person, id like to help anyone in secret. but still my family doesn't like me for what and who i am. i don't know why. maybe im different and not a good looking person unlike my siblings. im the ugliest among the 3 of us. my dad said that he looks like my oldest sister and my mom said she looks like my elder sister. and me?! they say im the ugliest.  my siblings are good in school they always got an award after the school year and im happy about that thing. but me?! nothing! im just an average guy. so they hate me for being that. as if im a failure to my family. also there is favoritism in my family. so im jealous on my siblings.

i have zero girlfriend also. i am very coward to show my feelings toward others. i am afraid to be neglected.

so this is my life. who would want to live like this?! i wish i never existed so i never felt this pain inside me. 

bhert01 bhert01
18-21, M
Mar 16, 2010