Born N Raised

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NEW YORKER WHEN:

the subway makes sense

you're away from home and miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels

it only takes 1 finger to communicate in traffic

you order chinese food through bullet-proof glass

there is no north and south...just uptown and downtown

you get bumped and check for your wallet

you have at least 5 "worst cab driver ever" stories

your door has more than 3 locks

you think cursing someone out in spanish makes you bi-lingual

you live in a building with a population greater than most american towns

you know what a bodega is

your closet is full of black clothes

you head out to the clubs when the rest of america is in bed

you've been to new jersey twice and got lost both times

hookers and bums are invisible

you won't pay the kids selling candy for their basketball team b/c you think its a scam but pay $1200 for a studio apartment and think its a steal

the most frequently used part of your car is the horn

you wanna stab someone for saying "the big apple"

you say "the city" and expect everyone to know you're talking about manhattan

you've never been to the statue of liberty

your grocer is korean, your laundry guy is chinese, your favorite bartender is irish, your favorite diner owner is italian, your last cabbie was pakistani, your newsstand guy is indian, your favorite watch salesman is senegalese and you get your falafels from the egyptian guy

you're favorite movie has DeNiro or Pacino in it

you ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just b/c there are seats

you're not interested in going to times square for new years

you hate to hear people pronounce houston st. like the city in texas

rather than wait for the light to cross, you inch into traffic and make a run for it when the car passes

you walk a mile in 13 minutes 

you think everything should be open 24 hrs

you know who Dr. Z is

a yellow light means speed up

you can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and pay it no mind but go to the burbs and hear a cricket and get scared

you can fold your new york times vertically on the train or bus without knocking someone's hat off

you pay more to park your car than most people in america pay rent

you call an 8' x 10' patch of grass a yard

you will take in complete strangers as roomates to get the rent paid

always have a roach and rat story to share

someone says they like red sox they better mean the ones on their feet unless they want a quick *** whoppin

.......gotta love new york!

deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Feb 21, 2010

Love it!

hahahhahhahhahhahahha ohmygod!!! that is soooo true, all of them. you should add "when ever people say they are from new york, you automatically ask what borough they are from" hahahaha :D