Nice Guys... Not For Young Women?

I have heard it said that older women prefer nice guys. I think this is largely true. I believe that as women get older, they value security more than excitement. Sure excitement is valued but facing the reality of spending the rest of your life alone would cause any man or woman to place proper value on what is most important. Trust, reliability, security, honesty... These are very attractive qualities. It is my opinion that these are qualities most valued in particular by older women.

When does this transition occur? When a woman goes from thrill seeking to settling down? Why do younger women in particular, tend to gravitate more towards the "bad boys". One lady recently mentioned that when she was younger she liked the so called bad boys, but now that she is older she thinks that nice guys are "gems". How does this transition of thought occur?

You see, I would consider myself to be a nice guy. I am pretty honest and straight forward. Perhaps that suggests that I am boring. I am inclined to agree. I don't fancy taking unnecessary risks, I'm pretty laid back and content with my life. I'm not out there chasing excitement. I don't need it. That is who I am. As a result, i find it very difficult to relate to young women. I do... The things that I value and the things that most young women value sometimes differ to great extents. So I find myself enjoying the company of older women. Easier to talk to, more honest and up-front with their thoughts and feelings, what you see is usually what you get.

I don't know, perhaps I am not giving young women the credit they deserve. All I know is, I just don't relate to them as well as I relate to older women. I find that very interesting.

Your thoughts?
Scorpio1987 Scorpio1987
22-25, M
4 Responses Jul 19, 2012

As a young woman, im not looking for a lifelong partner, or anything all that serious in fact. Im there because I enjoy that persons company, and find them intelligent, ingenuitive, or otherwise creative. I won't date a guy because he's "nice", that isn't enough. I'd prefer anything but nice, funny, against society, crazy. I like people who can think for themselves and "bad boys" tend to be confident and able to stand their own in discussions.

I wouldn't classify myself as a bad boy by any stretch of the imagination. I'm mostly nice but I certainly won't take crap from anyone. I make my own decision often find against the grain of popular thought. I make no apology for my actions, but I'm not your typical bad boy. Having said that I have been called arrogant at least twice, and just recently someone said I seem disintegrated, dismissive but confident as if to say I don't need anybody. Perhaps I made the transition from being nice to bad over time. Or perhaps I'm in the middle somewhere. I don't know. These are just thoughts...

Young women have less faith in themselves and "bad boys" generally approach women first but as we mature we no longer feel like the only guy we will be with is the one who "picks" us.

Good point. I have heard many women stating they will go for this type simply because he approached.

Excitement and security are not mutually exclusive. And chronological age has nothing to do with maturity. So the way I see it, it takes an emotionally mature/self-aware woman to understand that although he may be a nice guy, not "Nice Guy" (that's a whole 'nother ball of wax) he can be exciting, passionate, and hella sexy.
Those are the women you should look for.

I must admit to having been that girl too. The one who would look for excitement and intensity. The one who would fall for 'bad boys' - or, to be more precise, for complicated ones. Guys with issues. I thought I could help them, change them, or whatever *rolls her eyes* I didn't know myself that well back then, I didn't know who I was and so I also wasn't aware of what or who I was really looking for. I think you are right - it probably comes with age. Or maybe with experience too. <br />
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I've changed a lot since then. I still look for intensity, but in a completely different way. And it takes LOTS of time and effort to force me to go to a party, or any other noisy place full of people (and I used to party a lot because in the past it meant excitement for me). I don't need it now. And yes, that might sound boring, but I don't care any more. And I can see you don't either. Good to know there are more of us like this here!

Thanl you for your honest response t. I do believe that when you are young you hardly know yourself. How can you then look for your ideal partner if you do not even know what you are looking for? I totally agree with what you said about how young women try to change bad boys. I find that to be ironic. What attracted them in the first place is what they usually try to change. I get so frustrated when my friends tell me about the problems they have with their men. My response is often quite simple. "What did you expect?" Its ridiculous. The thing is, people grow at different rates, women often maturing a lot quicker than men in general. A lot of young women make the mistake of assuming that their men will "grow up" and stop doing some of the things they did, or like you said, they will try to change them. My advice to any young woman would be, don't get married young. Sadly, they do not listen. Why won't they listen t? Don't they know that their lives would be so much easier if they listened to me? Lol

Ohhh, if only they listened to you, Scorpio! :)))

You know? I'm glad we agree. :-)