A Nice Guy, But With Limits.

I am a nice guy. I help other and enjoy seeing other people succeed in life. During my college years I was the guy the would help a girl move with a few hours notice, change the oil in her car, or help her out in many different ways.

To be direct, I was used and chumped many times over. Women never wanted nice guys. The young women of my generation (and today's young generation) wanted boys who would give them the tingles.

Women who would not give me the time of day when I was 25 suddenly are interested in me now that I am 36 and have a professional career, house and German automobile.

I'm still a nice guy, but I get to say "No" to women more frequently.

So here is the conundrum. Nice guys are expected to be nice to women and then wait for those women to shag every bad boy they desire and when the woman is ready to settle down, the nice guy is supposed to oblige. All nice and dandy except the older nice guys now have a shot at the younger women due to their success and prosperity.

Where does that leave the older women who lived the bad boy shagging lifestyle? It leaves them alone with less prospects than ever before. I love reading the woe-is-me articles about women who say that there are no nice, marriageable guys around. The truth is the nice guys are all around the pity partying women. To many women, nice guys are invisible, just part of the scenery until those very same nice guys are desired. The problem is that those nice guys remember being treated as invisible, or being used over and over again by women.

Nice guys do win, eventually.
painofshame painofshame
36-40, M
4 Responses Dec 16, 2012

Ew. Your post is disgusting, because it's not true at all. While it is for some, there is a huge issue that you don't seem to be taking into account: attractiveness.

On top of that, don't speak on my generation or for women as if you know us. You have no authority. We do want the bad-boy looking guys....with great personalities. They exist. Some women are fooled and get bad boys...and keep choosing them.

I'm a Big Nice guy, almost 30 never had a real relationship. I struggle with my weight, in this last year I succeeded in losing 60 pounds,very difficult battle has been. My confidence has always been invisible or non existent, since childhood, I've always been put down and was raised by a single mother (that narrows it down). I tell woman what I want, but they throw me under the bus, it never fails to amaze me. I stop doing good deeds because it had fire back at me and have read books about the fallacy of a Nice guy being seen as a doormat. It's sad to be human with caring feelings, but I had to hold back on woman lately so I won't be seen as a weak men, it still fires back at me...I don't know what to do, I do tell woman what I want and I know I'm not shy and be myself, but still no luck,I'm put on the friend zone, like I said it doesn't fail to amaze me... It's sad seeing the same repeated story I continue to hear from single woman and mothers that their ex man lefted them or all those children's that I constantly meet and have no father figure, I so want to be a father and sad that no woman wants to mate with me, I even work 2 jobs and sad to feel less of a man. Sad to see how bad boy types get the action, some not even want any serious relationship, living experience of my guy friends, how lucky they are getting calls or woman easily giving themselves to them at the club,while I'm rejected or no thanks, not interested,or I'm not into big guys constant responds..Last woman I dated was a little bit younger than me, but began to just ask for favors a little bit too much and I had to tell her to not take me granted, what I wanted and that I didn't wanted husband responsibilities without having her in return or more like a relationship and she told me, she only see's me like a friend. So I let her go, I told her to call me when she wants to see me like a man or take me serious.I haven't heard from her since and that was a month ago.sad, but true it's just the unfair life.

Thanks very much for sharing! You are definitely not alone in thinking this!

Wow! I actually like this article that you have kindly shared with us a lot because this is exactly what our wonderful society preaches to us. Lesser minded people are unable to shake this indoctrination of vainity and actually start victimizing themselves without even thinking twice about it. In relation to women, they tend to spend so much time and effort on trying to look desirable that only men who are caught up in their own infatuation ever step forward to claim their trophy (the women ...that usually turns out well, right?).

Moreover, I don't believe that a true nice guy can be called such when they are only so because they have low-self esteem, lack confidence, smokes a lot of weed (lol), etc. A true nice guy is so because he values his interactions with others and realizes that life does not revolve around him. He desire to help as much as possible, whenever possible and is confident in who he is as a person. In relation to women, a true nice guy does not interact with the other sex with hidden agendas nor would would he judge a women's beauty as being as one-dimensional as she appears to the naked eye.

I just joined this site like two days ago, this is my shortest message so far but that is mainly due to your genius. I shall write my own story one day that is composed of my responses to others which is why I take the time to write a nice reply. You are number 3. Thank you for sharing.