Nice Guy = Friend

what is it with women they all say oh i just want to meet a nice guy, but if you are a nice guy you get nowhere with them. a couple of my friends keep telling me you can't be nice you have to treat them like dirt to get anywhere with them. i didn't want to believe it for the longest time . my friend treats women dirty and thier all over him and he isn't the best looking guy in the world either. so i treat them nice i get stuck in the friend zone he treats them dirty and he's adding thier panties to his collection. aparently i'm going to have to become a jerk in order to stay out of the friend zone , which isn't the kind of person i am.hell i guess it's just farther proof that nice guys really do finish last(that is it they even get in the race)
sted sted
31-35, M
3 Responses May 29, 2007

I think it depends on the type of woman you're looking to attract and what your idea of "nice guy" means. <br />
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So what do you mean by "nice guy" ?? If you're referring to someone who let's women walk all over them, then I'd say most women don't enjoy that. <br />
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Actually, I guess I can't speak for other women, but I can speak for myself. I do actually want a nice guy, but I also want him to be strong and able to say no to me if he truly doesn't agree. What I mean by this is, I don't want a guy who agrees with everything I want or think I need. I also don't wnat a guy who's mean and nasty when saying no to me though either! <br />
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I'd love to find a guy with his own thoughts and opinions, yet who's willing and able to compromise when necessary. I want a guy who's friendly, and sweet, and giving...but I also want him to expect the same thing from me in return! <br />
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Maybe that's where women get turned off by the "nice guy" Sometimes nice guys give and give and give, but never back off when the gestures aren't returned. It's definitely sad, but there is something to the saying..."we want what we can't have" (or can't have easily). Sometimes nice guys just need to back off a little bit and let the women come to them. Don't be a jerk about it, but don't always be there waiting for her. Create some distance, and I'm sure you'll see more interest! (I know, it sounds like game playing, and to an extent it is...but it can work sometime) <br />
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If none of that works...then maybe the women you're approaching don't find you attractive or just don't like your personality? Evaluate the types of women you're approaching and figure out if they are worthy of a nice guy anyway! <br />
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Good Luck! - J

I used to wonder about that too. And bizarrely, one day I stumbled across someone who had all the answers to those questions. Talk about a revelation!! If you're curious, go to and subscribe to the free email list. It's fricking damn funny to read, but also very insightful. And no, I'm not connected to the company in any way shape or form. I'd offer you a bunch of links, except the truth is I've not found anything else as good as this stuff. Check it out, you've got nothing to lose. And judging from your story, I reckon you'll both laugh your arse off and probably inwardly sob a bit as well at all the retarded mistakes you've been making, which basically describes my reaction :P

my theory here is nice guys may finish last but they finish the best. when you find someone who appreciates you and it lasts a lifetime wouldn'y you say you were the winner? divorce statistics prove that many "bad boys" end up paying alimony and child support.thats not what I would call a winning number