Frustrated Wanna Be Nudist (again)

I grew up in, and live in, a small Upper Michigan town where everybody must subscribe to the same mindset to be accepted. Green Bay Packers, Detroit Redwings, cinnamon in the spaghetti sauce; If you look at the women from behind, you can distinguish individuals by their hairstyles and hair color; they all dress alike so from behind they all look alike. the list goes on and on. I’m sure there are many of you reading this who know exactly what I’m talking about and can relate too well.

                Nudism? No way! You can’t dress just like your neighbor if you’re naked.  So, of course, there was no nudity of any kind in my home while I was growing up; it wasn’t even thought about. Too much time was dedicated to hiding it. I don’t ever recall seeing my mother in a pair of shorts, for gosh sakes.

                I shared a bedroom with my brother who was six years older than me and one night he did something that I had never seen done before. He took off his clothes and climbed into bed-while I was right in the room. I had never in my life seen somebody take their clothes off before, and I had certainly never seen another person nude.

                Years later when I was first married, I started hanging around our apartment nude and at first my new wife thought I was a pervert or something. She joined me a couple of times, and we skinny dipped a few times and things like that, but she quit and so did I and that was that.

                When we separated years later, I got an apartment and started enjoying hanging around nude again, but when I met the girl would become my current wife, I didn’t mention anything about nudism to her, because she had been raised in a fairly modest environment (but it was still much more liberal that my upbringing had been).  How I introduced her to nudism is in another story I posted in this site (circle, is it?).

                After our boys became teenagers, she decided that she suddenly felt uncomfortable being nude in front of them, and she quit – sort of.  She doesn’t hang around the house nude anymore like we used to, but on occasion she, her dad, and I will hang around their motel nude for a while after we have gone swimming in the motel pool, and on occasion if it is hot outside while we are camping, she will change or hang around the campsite nude for a while in front of our teenage boys.

                Now what is frustrating for me are a couple of things: once she decided that she was uncomfortable hanging around the house nude, our oldest boy became so modest that he even sleeps in his clothes, only changing in the bathroom. Our second oldest boy is not quite that bad, but his mom’s sudden reversal has thoroughly confused him, too. 

                The other thing that bothers me is that while my wife says she feels uncomfortable hanging around the house nude in front of the boys, she will occasionally do it at the campsite and at the motel room, as I have mentioned.  What this reveals to me is that she, like so many Americans, is thoroughly confused with nudism and doesn’t know how to react to it.

                That’s how I found the EP website; I was looking for a website about nudism and stumbled on to the site.  I have found over 75 sites that ask the same question: “At what age should I stop being nude in front of my children?”. All of them have the same basic answers: “When they’re old enough to ask questions”. “When they become teenagers”.  “At age five”.  The same standard answers to the same standard questions.

                You want to know what that reveals to this old Social Scientist. That there are a whole lot of people out there who have discovered nudism and that they enjoy to it to the point where they are reluctant to give it up, and feel compelled to do so only by having older children in the house. To me, this is wrong and I will tell you why I say that:

                In some European countries, nude beaches are the norm, and there can be other places where public nudity is perfectly acceptable. And in those countries, there is a much lower sexual crime rate than in the United States, and there is much lower rate of teenage pregnancies than in the United States.  The majority of pornographic websites on the internet originate in the United States. This would suggest that the phobias regarding the nude human body that persist in the United States are actually doing far more harm than good in our society. While Europeans have long since realized that nudism is just that, Americans insist on clinging to the idea that nudity equals sex. Those people who are flooding the internet with questions asking at what age we should stop letting our children see us naked are those who have discovered that nudism can be enjoyed without it equaling sex, but they are still stuck with submitting themselves to the age-old cultural misconception of nudity equaling sex. So, they do as my wife has done: they raise their children to believe that it is okay to be naked until you are old enough to have a sex drive and after that you must stop. It is sending the subliminal message that nudity equals sex, even though they know from experience that such is not at all the case!

                I do not believe that it is sinful, incestuous, evil, psychologically damaging, or anything else that is negative, to raise your children in a nudist environment. On the contrary, I honest believe that to do is actually far healthier for the children. They grow up seeing the differences in the human body so they grow up more accepting of those differences, and they are not so anxious to explore them in the back seat after prom night.

                So why am I frustrated? Because while I hold these beliefs based on several years of study (and I hold a college degree in Social Sciences, so I know how to conduct a study), and my wife shares my belief, she has denied our family the freedom and enjoyment of nudism based on the standard American  cultural normative paradigm of nudity equaling sex.

                I hope to get lots of responses to this, as I am sure there are others dealing with the same issue, and I would like to share what I have learned from my studies, and even how I conducted them if anyone cares to know.

I grew up in, and live in, a small Upper Michigan town where everybody must subscribe to the same mindset to be accepted. Green Bay Packers, Detroit Redwings, cinnamon in the spaghetti sauce; If you look at the women from behind, you can distinguish individuals by their hairstyles and hair color; they all dress alike so from behind they all look alike. the list goes on and on. I’m sure there are many of you reading this who know exactly what I’m talking about and can relate too well.

                Nudism? No way! You can’t dress just like your neighbor if you’re naked.  So, of course, there was no nudity of any kind in my home while I was growing up; it wasn’t even thought about. Too much time was dedicated to hiding it. I don’t ever recall seeing my mother in a pair of shorts, for gosh sakes.

                I shared a bedroom with my brother who was six years older than me and one night he did something that I had never seen done before. He took off his clothes and climbed into bed-while I was right in the room. I had never in my life seen somebody take their clothes off before, and I had certainly never seen another person nude.

                Years later when I was first married, I started hanging around our apartment nude and at first my new wife thought I was a pervert or something. She joined me a couple of times, and we skinny dipped a few times and things like that, but she quit and so did I and that was that.

                When we separated years later, I got an apartment and started enjoying hanging around nude again, but when I met the girl would become my current wife, I didn’t mention anything about nudism to her, because she had been raised in a fairly modest environment (but it was still much more liberal that my upbringing had been).  How I introduced her to nudism is in another story I posted in this site (circle, is it?).

                After our boys became teenagers, she decided that she suddenly felt uncomfortable being nude in front of them, and she quit – sort of.  She doesn’t hang around the house nude anymore like we used to, but on occasion she, her dad, and I will hang around their motel nude for a while after we have gone swimming in the motel pool, and on occasion if it is hot outside while we are camping, she will change or hang around the campsite nude for a while in front of our teenage boys.

                Now what is frustrating for me are a couple of things: once she decided that she was uncomfortable hanging around the house nude, our oldest boy became so modest that he even sleeps in his clothes, only changing in the bathroom. Our second oldest boy is not quite that bad, but his mom’s sudden reversal has thoroughly confused him, too. 

                The other thing that bothers me is that while my wife says she feels uncomfortable hanging around the house nude in front of the boys, she will occasionally do it at the campsite and at the motel room, as I have mentioned.  What this reveals to me is that she, like so many Americans, is thoroughly confused with nudism and doesn’t know how to react to it.

                That’s how I found the EP website; I was looking for a website about nudism and stumbled on to the site.  I have found over 75 sites that ask the same question: “At what age should I stop being nude in front of my children?”. All of them have the same basic answers: “When they’re old enough to ask questions”. “When they become teenagers”.  “At age five”.  The same standard answers to the same standard questions.

                You want to know what that reveals to this old Social Scientist. That there are a whole lot of people out there who have discovered nudism and that they enjoy to it to the point where they are reluctant to give it up, and feel compelled to do so only by having older children in the house. To me, this is wrong and I will tell you why I say that:

                In some European countries, nude beaches are the norm, and there can be other places where public nudity is perfectly acceptable. And in those countries, there is a much lower sexual crime rate than in the United States, and there is much lower rate of teenage pregnancies than in the United States.  The majority of pornographic websites on the internet originate in the United States. This would suggest that the phobias regarding the nude human body that persist in the United States are actually doing far more harm than good in our society. While Europeans have long since realized that nudism is just that, Americans insist on clinging to the idea that nudity equals sex. Those people who are flooding the internet with questions asking at what age we should stop letting our children see us naked are those who have discovered that nudism can be enjoyed without it equaling sex, but they are still stuck with submitting themselves to the age-old cultural misconception of nudity equaling sex. So, they do as my wife has done: they raise their children to believe that it is okay to be naked until you are old enough to have a sex drive and after that you must stop. It is sending the subliminal message that nudity equals sex, even though they know from experience that such is not at all the case!

                I do not believe that it is sinful, incestuous, evil, psychologically damaging, or anything else that is negative, to raise your children in a nudist environment. On the contrary, I honest believe that to do is actually far healthier for the children. They grow up seeing the differences in the human body so they grow up more accepting of those differences, and they are not so anxious to explore them in the back seat after prom night.

                So why am I frustrated? Because while I hold these beliefs based on several years of study (and I hold a college degree in Social Sciences, so I know how to conduct a study), and my wife shares my belief, she has denied our family the freedom and enjoyment of nudism based on the standard American  cultural normative paradigm of nudity equaling sex.

                I hope to get lots of responses to this, as I am sure there are others dealing with the same issue, and I would like to share what I have learned from my studies, and even how I conducted them if anyone cares to know.

I grew up in, and live in, a small Upper Michigan town where everybody must subscribe to the same mindset to be accepted. Green Bay Packers, Detroit Redwings, cinnamon in the spaghetti sauce; If you look at the women from behind, you can distinguish individuals by their hairstyles and hair color; they all dress alike so from behind they all look alike. the list goes on and on. I’m sure there are many of you reading this who know exactly what I’m talking about and can relate too well.

                Nudism? No way! You can’t dress just like your neighbor if you’re naked.  So, of course, there was no nudity of any kind in my home while I was growing up; it wasn’t even thought about. Too much time was dedicated to hiding it. I don’t ever recall seeing my mother in a pair of shorts, for gosh sakes.

                I shared a bedroom with my brother who was six years older than me and one night he did something that I had never seen done before. He took off his clothes and climbed into bed-while I was right in the room. I had never in my life seen somebody take their clothes off before, and I had certainly never seen another person nude.

                Years later when I was first married, I started hanging around our apartment nude and at first my new wife thought I was a pervert or something. She joined me a couple of times, and we skinny dipped a few times and things like that, but she quit and so did I and that was that.

                When we separated years later, I got an apartment and started enjoying hanging around nude again, but when I met the girl would become my current wife, I didn’t mention anything about nudism to her, because she had been raised in a fairly modest environment (but it was still much more liberal that my upbringing had been).  How I introduced her to nudism is in another story I posted in this site (circle, is it?).

                After our boys became teenagers, she decided that she suddenly felt uncomfortable being nude in front of them, and she quit – sort of.  She doesn’t hang around the house nude anymore like we used to, but on occasion she, her dad, and I will hang around their motel nude for a while after we have gone swimming in the motel pool, and on occasion if it is hot outside while we are camping, she will change or hang around the campsite nude for a while in front of our teenage boys.

                Now what is frustrating for me are a couple of things: once she decided that she was uncomfortable hanging around the house nude, our oldest boy became so modest that he even sleeps in his clothes, only changing in the bathroom. Our second oldest boy is not quite that bad, but his mom’s sudden reversal has thoroughly confused him, too. 

                The other thing that bothers me is that while my wife says she feels uncomfortable hanging around the house nude in front of the boys, she will occasionally do it at the campsite and at the motel room, as I have mentioned.  What this reveals to me is that she, like so many Americans, is thoroughly confused with nudism and doesn’t know how to react to it.

                That’s how I found the EP website; I was looking for a website about nudism and stumbled on to the site.  I have found over 75 sites that ask the same question: “At what age should I stop being nude in front of my children?”. All of them have the same basic answers: “When they’re old enough to ask questions”. “When they become teenagers”.  “At age five”.  The same standard answers to the same standard questions.

                You want to know what that reveals to this old Social Scientist. That there are a whole lot of people out there who have discovered nudism and that they enjoy to it to the point where they are reluctant to give it up, and feel compelled to do so only by having older children in the house. To me, this is wrong and I will tell you why I say that:

                In some European countries, nude beaches are the norm, and there can be other places where public nudity is perfectly acceptable. And in those countries, there is a much lower sexual crime rate than in the United States, and there is much lower rate of teenage pregnancies than in the United States.  The majority of pornographic websites on the internet originate in the United States. This would suggest that the phobias regarding the nude human body that persist in the United States are actually doing far more harm than good in our society. While Europeans have long since realized that nudism is just that, Americans insist on clinging to the idea that nudity equals sex. Those people who are flooding the internet with questions asking at what age we should stop letting our children see us naked are those who have discovered that nudism can be enjoyed without it equaling sex, but they are still stuck with submitting themselves to the age-old cultural misconception of nudity equaling sex. So, they do as my wife has done: they raise their children to believe that it is okay to be naked until you are old enough to have a sex drive and after that you must stop. It is sending the subliminal message that nudity equals sex, even though they know from experience that such is not at all the case!

                I do not believe that it is sinful, incestuous, evil, psychologically damaging, or anything else that is negative, to raise your children in a nudist environment. On the contrary, I honest believe that to do is actually far healthier for the children. They grow up seeing the differences in the human body so they grow up more accepting of those differences, and they are not so anxious to explore them in the back seat after prom night.

                So why am I frustrated? Because while I hold these beliefs based on several years of study (and I hold a college degree in Social Sciences, so I know how to conduct a study), and my wife shares my belief, she has denied our family the freedom and enjoyment of nudism based on the standard American  cultural normative paradigm of nudity equaling sex.

                I hope to get lots of responses to this, as I am sure there are others dealing with the same issue, and I would like to share what I have learned from my studies, and even how I conducted them if anyone cares to know.

northguy northguy
46-50, M
4 Responses Mar 14, 2010

An interesting read!<br />
I am a naturist / nudist... who has shifted house and locality many times; only a few allowing me to be naked, especially publicly (for instance, a nude or clothing optional beach). Once the weather warms up or the crocodiles / mosquitos have gone away, its very pleasant!

I agree with the 'American ****' thing. Historically, the countries which are the most modest, conservative, and suppressed have also been the worst and most dangerous nations. In fact, it even goes by states in America. <br />
<br />
When laws restrict personal freedoms, people cause problems.

Definitely very informative but perhaps you should shorten it as it is a double post.

I found this article online at http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199707/why-nudist-dont-get-erections<br />
Why nudist don't get erections<br />
Presents an excerpt from the article 'Nudity,' by Leonard Blank from 'Psychology Today' dated June 1969.<br />
By Peter Doskoch, published on July 01, 1997<br />
<br />
Lawrence Casler, of the State University of New York at Geneseo, studied 115nudists, removing his own clothes to minimize defensiveness or false responses. One of his major findings: Nudists are not sexually aroused by the sight of unclad bodies.<br />
<br />
Why don't nudists react as we expect them to? Casler believes that sexual arousal is a learned response to nudity and that the naked body arouses us only under certain conditions. Anthropologists do not report unusual promiscuity or a higher birth rate among habitually naked primitive tribes; nor is there any other sign that such groups are more sexually active than their clothed neighbors.<br />
Under what conditions, then, is the unclad body an erotic ob<x>ject? The answer seems simple. In non-nudist life, we see the opposite sex undressed during love making, and conditioning causes nudity to become associated with sexual excitement or behavior. Nudists, on the other hand, associate the naked body with volleyball. The body becomes deconditioned as a sexual stimulus.<br />
Male nudists have reported, however, that immediately upon leaving the nudist camp they are stimulated by women wearing ordinary clothes.<br />
<br />
--excerpted from "Nudity" by<br />
<br />
Leonard Blank, June 1969.