Died In August 2010

I am the mother of a 21 year old son who became paraplegic on August 19,2010 as the result of sheilding his (now ex) girlfriend. She was driving and decided to kill both of them and he was passenger, sheilded her and severed his spinal cord. She ended up with two scratches! His side of the car was UNTOUCHED, her head rest was out of car. I have been searching for all types of sources from home remodel to a car for him. We are in Alabama and it seems there is no help for paraplegics! My son has been to two major facilities in Georgia and Alabama for inpatient rehab and had a couple outpaient rehab but he needs therapy everyday and outpatient was only for a month or so. He has good and bad days. I have gotten over the pitty stage but I still have days where I feel sorry for him. He is always saying it would have been easier if he had just died that day and he doesnt want to be here anymore. Hearing this is very difficult for me! I am always afraid when I step into his room in the morning because of fear he has done something that crazy! I think he would be a lot happier if he had a car and could drive when and where he wants. I see a lot of people with cars, trucks, and vans but so far they are veterans. Of course military (state) paid for their homes and cars. We arent that fortunate and I desperately NEED to find sources. He searched the first year for any type of relief for him. Stem cell was the biggest thing he seemed to find but seems impossible for the poor and middle class. I know it is hard because I see his struggle! I have a lot more to add but time is short at this moment. I hope to talk to a lot of you soon. Ok Im back to add.  Just being mom is hard because I hate to see my child in this position. Just turned 19 "free from childhood" , able to get out on his own and start experiencing life without mom and one crazy girl made a selfish decision that ended his freedom before it even started. I wish there were a lot of paraplegics near us his age that could "just happen" to meet at a certain place at a certain time and talk about their experiences. I say 'just happen' because I KNOW my son wouldnt go if I told him it was a meeting. Its nice to have old friends come by and visit but when they drive off and you are sitting there alone wishing you could ride also but cant negative things tend to run through your head! If you meet other paraplegics they can relate to how you feel and at the end of the day you all have the same travel method. I hope I grow from this site and learn to help my son more. More than anything right now a few friends for him would be LOVELY!
36-40, F
2 Responses Sep 8, 2012

Hello ,

My name is Steve and I read your story and I can understand what you are going through as I am a parent and a paraplegic. I am a T9 as of 10/21/2000 and I have been through allot in the years following my accident and if you ever need to talk or your son want to talk about anything you have questions or advice on let me know.

I was injured in a motocross accident racing dirt bikes as a hobby and I am a senior programmer so it was great I could still wok. I know your son will go through allot of challenges and have his up days and bad days as I do. If there is anything I can do to help you or him through this give me a shout at steves@swiftconsult.net , and let me know where I can help. Thanks Steve

I had surgery on my spine and ended up a parapalegic. I understand where he's coming from when he says he wishes he wouldve died. I wish I would've died on the table sometimes. it's more because of how hard it is to keep moving forward and to star positive. To get my stress out i write everything down or type it on my computer. they have support groups online and in towns so maybe it would help him not feel so bad if he talked to other parapalegics and realized hes not alone in his feelings or in his situation if that makes any sence.