I Am a Paraplegic
Hi, I'm new around here... Just want to share my experience involving in paraplegic world.... I'm a young physiotherapy lecturer teaching somewhere in Malaysia... i got to know a paraplegic guy during my internship in final year of my study.
when i first got to know him, it was just a therapist-patient relationship. but somehow, we got friendly and mutually attracted to each other.... the attraction was quite strong even from the start, i was amazed that someone who had a disability so suddenly (he was 26 when an accident left him paralyzed at the level of L2) and just barely 2 years he is able to resume his work (he is a welder), drives his own car and do regular social activities - movies, nights out etc...
though he does have bouts of depression and anguish because of his disability, he is a very independent person, and motivated to do the best he can just because his belief that GOD gave him a second chance to live. his courage and strong will makes me respect him more and more everyday.
he did confides to me that the first year and a half post accident was very tough as he had to learn to adjusts himself and come to term with his condition. to me, he was really lucky to have very a supportive mother, good siblings, nice friends and all around, good and firm network and help...
initially he did not give a thought of getting involve with anybody as immediately after the accident, his fiance left him. and i for certain did not even considering to fall in love with a paraplegic!
we did have our awkward moments together, especially when going out to movies or just having a lunch together as people would stare at us and pointing at us. but as I'm confident in myself and believe that he is a great guy, i manage to coax him not to think about what other people think or do or gossip about us.
since we just know each other for 10months, we are still in the stage of knowing each other and try to adjust to each other moves... i learned that to be with a paraplegic and also be emotionally involve is not much different from involving with a normal person... however, the partner of a paraplegic should consider whether he/she can live with bouts of depression, be a motivator and coach, and all the necessary routine of lifting wheelchair and such everyday...
since we both are Muslims, we did not get at the s.e.x. stage yet. but as we are planning to get married soon, it have been in my mind for a few days now.. however, i dont get worried over it much as my principle is to go with the flow and communication is important to overcome any problems.. therefore, no problems for me to be with him....
for paraplegics out there, belief in yourself, do whatever it takes to make yourself special so a special person will appreciate you back. and also, belief in your GOD, whatever your religion as it will give you strength and calmness.. you should just go and seize the day, do anything you like and make friends and not moping alone... only then the world will open to you again with new possibilities and hope...
hope is only for the strong people like you guys...
sincerely,
sayangayang
28/09/2009
