My Boyfriend Vs. My Son

Ok, well I didn't quite know where to start with this diary, but I knew I couldn't have a real, paper one laying around with these kinds of personal thoughts. Between a boyfriend and a son, I wouldn't begin to know where to hide it! LOL

Anyway, my boyfriend and I are living together and raising my son. My boyfriend is not my son's father, but he's helping me with parenting as though he were. Since we just moved to a new apartment in another city, my son had to start at a new school. He had some trouble adjusting to the whole situation, and starting hitting kids at the new school. Thankfully, his teachers were very understanding and figured out how to get through to him, rather than hoping it would just stop. (If you knew my kid, you'd know that would've been the worst thing in the world to do.)

So, my boyfriend and I have completely opposite parenting styles. I like to rationalize, which isn't effective with a small child. He likes to rule with an iron fist and without question. I've found, after purchasing The Total Transformation Program and reading The New Strong-Willed Child, that neither parenting technique is effective. The problem is that I'm trying to learn more effective parenting techniques, at the suggestion of my boyfriend, but he's not. He doesn't know that his techniques are no more effective than mine! (If you knew my boyfriend, you'd know that you can't tell him he does anything incorrectly.)

I wish I could get him to learn, too. I don't want my son to grow up resenting or distrusting my boyfriend. I want him to respect my boyfriend. I know how that goes... I've had stepfathers who I've resented and barely respect. It's not a good situation.

I feel like I have to (1) learn and apply these more effective parenting techniques, (2) help my son learn how to be a respectable human being, and (3) teach my boyfriend how to be a respectable parent. Sheesh!

phillytoots phillytoots
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 7, 2008

well, how your son is parented is going to affect who he will be from now on. So you should probably be sure your boyfriend's form of discipline isn't inappropriate for your son. You want him to have a happy childhood, not one full of conflict.