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Being Forced To Go To Church Ruined Church For Me.

I'm twenty one years old, and I STILL get harassed by my dad to go to church when he knows I don't fully subscribe to Protestantism and I don't feel comfortable in a religious service I don't fully believe in.

My entire life I've had to be a trophy daughter and go to church service and church events when I didn't want to or believe in it, and my dad sees nothing wrong with it because it supports him.

I am glad that I know the Bible inside and out. As a history major in college, knowing the Bible and knowing Protestant theology really comes in handy, especially because I study colonial American history. For that, I'm thankful.

But the sad part is, I know way more about Christianity than most actual Christians I know, but I know it's bullshit. Isn't that always how it is?

Sorry, I'm definitely not trying to diss Christianity. If you're Christian, good for you. I respect that. I'm simply just... not. I'm Unitarian if anything. I'm fine with Christians; I just have a bad history of being coerced into certain beliefs and practices.

Coersion is the least successful form of conversion, which I've learned both from my personal anecdotal experience and my studying of history. Forget it being a not very nice thing to do, it just doesn't work.

I know that my dad's church puts food on the table and a roof over our head, but I never agreed to being a pastor's kid. I never agreed to any of this. I never wanted it.

Maybe Catholics have the right idea for the wrong reasons. Maybe clergy shouldn't have family, not because clergy should be celibate and focused on God and yadah yadah yadah, but because frankly, it sucks to be family of clergy.

I guess it could have been a lot worse. My dad's not one of those really crazy evangelical Jesus freaks, just mainline Protestant. Lucky for me, because I'm bisexual and a woman, two minorities evangelicals don't treat very well. I also smoke pot. Yeah, it's not popular with my parents, but it could have been a lot worse if my dad was one of those super conservative pastors.

Sorry, I'm probably offending a lot of you out there. Yeah, yeah, I'm a rebellious ungrateful heathen, blah blah blah, I've heard it all before.

Rant over.

cari7 cari7 18-21, F 10 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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hello cari, as long as you are alive, gods grace is pouring on you and you are on a search for truth, do you have a real personal relationship with the jesus who is alive in the bible? that changes everyt hing. and your dad did right by making you go tochurch, you will be grateful later on in life.

I am very sorry that you a bitter and deluded. Unfortunately, you think way too highly of yourself and think you are much smarter than you really are. You obviously do NOT know what Christianity is about nor the Bible. <br />
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Everything you have heard or read has been filtered through your resolve NOT to believe in the God of the Bible. His word says that whoever comes to Him must FIRST come in faith. You can study history or religion all you want to as an academic interest, but unless you WANT to believe, nothing will penetrate your rebellious heart. <br />
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I'm not offended by you or your stubbornness, or the fact that you blame being dragged to church. You aren't hurting me. I'm secure in my salvation. You are welcome to continue to be screwed up if you wish. My only sadness is that while the sincere Christians are spending eternity with your dad and the Lord Jesus, you will be in hell. <br />
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I hope you get to the end of your rope so you will finally reach out to your Creator with faith instead of cynicism. I don't know who you are trying to get revenge on by your determination to remain an unbeliever, but the only person you will be hurting in the end is yourself. <br />
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The Bible says the wisdom of God is foolishness to men. Naturally you think I'm the fool because I believe in God's wisdom. But I've read the end of the book. Unless God's a liar, you're in for a rude wake up call.

I'm a grown pastors kid raising my own pastors kids. I have been writing a book about being a PK and would love to ask you a few questions. Would you be up for it?

Wow, I'm 17 and a pk to one of those crazy evangelical radical christian dads. Now to give my dad credit I love him very much and he is a mellow guy for the most part, except with church and god. Everything is about god, everything it's literally the only thing he ever discusses with my mother. Now on to my mother. She is NOT mellow and VERY radical on her opinions of god. See in my family it's that everything taught in our church is right. End of story. And I hate it. I am a very open minded person and I am an agnostic at best, verging more towards atheism. This is something I can't see admitting to my parents anytime soon. The church and the religion can be poisonous to the mind of a pk. It can train you to only think and believe one school of thought and shuts down every independent idea that strays away as something of the heathen nature. Anyways as soon as I'm out of the house I don't plan on attending any sort of church for a long, long time. If ever.

I completely get where you are coming from. Now I am not a kid that was raised up with a dad or mom that is a pastor. But I sure was pressured in to going to church from some of my family members all my life (still get it, like this morning my aunt wanted me to go to church, even though i have a hurt ankle and can't walk!). They always kept on saying that you need to go to church, you need to believe in this or that. Even when I didn't. I have never felt right with the Christian religion, I was always drawn to Wicca. <br />
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And I am practicing that religion in secret from my family cause they will freak out on me if they knew that I am Wiccan. The only person that knows about my religion is my husband and he has never once told me that I shouldn't practice that cause it's evil. All my family and church going people around here thinks that Wicca is the most evil religion around (but I have come to realize over the years some Christians think that any other religion besides their own is evil anyway) . When it is not at all, I am so much happier now on this path than on any other path. <br />
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Some people just don't understand and rather judge people than read and understand the religion. I think you & everyone else in the world should have a right to believe in what you want too and do what ever you want to. It's your life and no one should tell you what to do or not do, or what you have the right to believe in. <br />
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Good luck with the path you choose, and I hope that your dad and other family members will accept you no matter what. They have to relize it is your life and you have to live it the way it makes you happy. If they can't accept that, then that's their problem.

I get you.

I do believe in God, s080274. I really do. <br />
I'm actually going to start attending a Unitarian church with my friend who's Wiccan. I think it'll be the right fit for me.

Believe in God my friend...

Thanks, but I understand what Christianity is; I'm not so sheltered that I think my dad and his church are the only Christians out there. Still not really interested. I appreciate the sentiment, though.

I debated on which reaction smiley to click on to best convey how I felt about this post. The Entertained smiley wasn't appropriate, as I'm not entertained by someone's distress. The Happy smiley wasn't right for much of the same reasons. You're post wasn't really inspiring to me, it didn't make me sad and quite frankly I wasn't surprised either. So, I opted not to choose one at all. *note to self* Tell EP to put in more Smiley's. <br />
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Everyone is entitled to feel how they do and to believe in and subscribe to whatever religious affiliation they please...or not. So no offense taken...at least not by me and I am a Christian. I do have to say that it seems your examples of Christians growing up has given you a skewed idea of what a Christian really is. <br />
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Here is a cite that really helped me when I was struggling or at the very least, even if you don't believe, you'll have a true idea of what it means to be Christian. Man doesn't decide what a Christian is, Christ does. I hope this bit helps. <br />
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http://www.hopefortheheart.org/site/PageServer?pagename=hlp_overview Click on Topics