I Can't Help It

I am a perfetionist, and always have been. i ant help it, i ant stop the feelings i get every time something goes wrong. i ry almost every night knowing i did something wrong. the only thing that makes me feel better when i'm sad is apologizing, even if i've done nothing wrong lately. i apologize to friends, family, god if he's the only one who will listen. for little things, big things, nothings, i'm sorry. it kills me how muh it hurts to be this way, and nobody knows.
Tyler Tyler
18-21
8 Responses Nov 11, 2006

There is no such thing as perfect! Just try your best in all that you do. I have come to peace with myself that I am great at some things and terrible at others. Maybe to more of the things that you know that you're good at and practice getting better at the things that you're not so good at. If yup live each day trying to do the bet that you can for yourself and for others, there's no need to apologize for anything! :-)

^Ooops, I forgot to proof read. Oh well.^

If you really were, you would have spelled your words correctly and proofread.

hal900x, I think you are right. I deal with people that have all sorts of character defects, including myself. I have many. Socialy I want to be liked, I never want anyone to see me how I see me. So as all do, I put on my mask and I go out. This is who I want you to see, I know that the real me isn't so bad, I don't know why I need to act as if I am all that.

Perfectionism doesn't necessarily affect every single area of your life. A focus on, say, perfect spelling is a trifle compared to the painful, crippling kind of perfectionism that requires you to behave and interact in a "perfect" way socially, which is what the poster sounds like they are struggling with. I know, because I have it in this area and "it's killing me" sounds about right. You are not alone. Speaking for myself, this kind of perfectionism is related to the fear of shame, Overcome the fear of shame, and you overcome what I'll call "social perfectionism". For example, if another comment came along to say I've got it all wrong with my analysis, I would be upset, even though I know intellectually it's all subjective based on opinion and perception....It would really hurt to be called out as "wrong". I might try to delete the comment, or retaliate with a "flame" to cover the fear of being embarassed or, God forbid, mislead someone.

Ha! Well three others said it better before me!<br />
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Ouch! I was almost too devastated to comment, however I felt as though I would be doing a disservice to you as a "perfectionist"!

Umm....my problems may be worse because mispellings drive me crazy.

I was going to say the same thing, emerald. <br />
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Maybe your issues lay more in the area of a guilt complex, you seem more distraught by the thought of letting someone down.

I am sorry for your problem, but I just have to point this out... you are not a perfectionist. Otherwise you would have proof-read your entry, and know that can't is spelled w/ a "C" and you would have capitalized your "I"s. That's a perfectionist. Just please don't memo an appology for it!!lol