My Anxiety About Being Perfect

People always tell me I'm a perfectionist. I would have to agree with them though. I'm an artist. If it's not exactly the way I want it to be, I will stress out and MAKE it be perfect no matter what it takes. I could be drawing a simple line, if it's not perfect, I will keep redrawing it. If I'm shading, and it's not the right shade I'd plan, I'll keep erasing and smudging until it's perfect. I love drawing eyes, if I mess up on the shape of the eye or something, I will have anxieties until it's perfect. If something isn't perfect, I feel so disappointed in myself and I feel bad. It bothers me. That's why when I do my art, it takes me a long time. It's nothing bad, but I have bad anxieties...So it's a problem sometimes. Not only is it about my art, it involves being perfect with my body. I feel like my body has to be perfect. Perfect legs, butt, boobs, arms, waist, calfs, everything."My butt is too big and round, my thighs are too big, my arms need to be thinner, my ribs need to pop out more to look thin, etc" It's gotten to the point where I've tried being anorexic. My Anxieties are horrible.
KayKay12497 KayKay12497
13-15, F
2 Responses May 20, 2012

Wow. I was a perfectionist when I was younger, but then you get married and have kids and you realize there are more important things in life than your perfection and that's making sure the ones you love know they are loved. Even if that means the dishes aren't done b/c Jr needs you more.

I know the feeling... it's awful. But we NEED to realise that there is no WAY that we can be perfect. It is impossible. We just have to learn to accept ourselves, and remember that we are what we are, and that that's good enough. If we don't we are just going to harm ourselves. We should keep talking. Maybe together we can find the strength to drag ourselves out of the hole we have got ourselves into. love <3