Although I Am Far From the ...

Although I am far from the cleanest person out there, I am a little OCD in some ways.  I like for things to be even.  When I waited tables, I would stack the app plates so they were all the same height.  And if the number of plates didn't allow for that, I would usually throw a hissy fit and start screaming and banging my fists on the ground crying out "WHY?!!!, WHYYYYY??!!!, WHY ME???????"

ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
41-45, M
3 Responses Jul 6, 2007

i cleaned for the sake of cleanliness and nothing more - well except anxiety relief perhaps. my desire to be as good as if not better than everyone else came in my career (corporate ad exec) - i had to beat all my previous numbers and everyone else's ... i wasn't happy unless i did. it was much the same mindset i had when i played sports. too competitive almost. but that's all changed since the accident. lots of time to reflect on how my 'isms' were affecting me ... like i said, i miss a few things about that period in life but more than anything i'm happier with who i am now. i think that's the best we can hope for - to be happier with ourselves as each life-phase ends and a new begins.

Well, being healthy and clean are both good things, but trying to be better than everyone else is dangerous I think. It creates a mindset in which you're not cleaning for cleanings sake but as something that must be done to "keep up with the Jones's".

details kill! i used to be sooo incredibly detail oriented and am now only if i HAVE to be. i used to push myself each day beyond where i'd left off the day prior to. i HAD to be better at everything i set my hand to than everyone around me doing the same thing. i was completely OCD about my house - i'd clean until 2 a.m. fri nite/sat morn after a long week of work, get up sat morn at 8 clean and workout all day til about midnight, get up sun morn bout 6, go shopping, cook all the week's meals all day until about 5 p.m. and finish cleaning the cookfest mess til about 7. i was the kind of person who would not allow one dirty spoon to sit in the sink. i washed it, dried it and put it away immediately. i came home mon nite after work, opened the door and a waft of chemicals would pelt me at the front door. i wondered how my dog didn't die from the fumes. ~seriously~ it was also during this time i was becoming my healthiest, leanest, strongest, etc. i could NOT sit down... in a way i'm glad that 'season' in life is over (it was a lil too much) but then again ... i miss the cleanliness of the house, i miss KNOWING i had done better than everyone else and i miss that brickhouse body i had... oh well. such is life, eh?