Missing Out

I think I've missed out on a lot in my life because I HATE doing something short of perfectly. I can't stand sports because I'm less-than-coordianted. I have a really hard time around people who are blunt and critical because I take everything so seriously. I also am really manic about staying in shape, maintaining my social life, doing really well in school/work... but NO one can be awesome at everything. Those people that seem like they are, well, it's not reality. Something suffers. And they suffer as well. I need to learn to be more laid back and less extreme about everything but it's going to take a long, long, long time. The hardest part is starting and realizing it's a step at a time.
D07C D07C
22-25, F
3 Responses Jul 19, 2007

I agree perfectionism can create a lot of suffering. Perhaps it comes from suffering as well; it's a way around pain.

I recall playing music with a couple of friends. Me, a trumpeter and a keyboardist. It was a party we were performing at. We had gotten this particular song fairly well down in practice, but had one hang up we hadn't fully gotten over. We made the same mistake in the performance. The keyboardist kept going back to the the 2nd riff one measure too soon. In this case the trumpet pla<x>yer was the perfectionist, and was all bent out of shape by the end of the song because of that, though he managed to hang in there and finish the song, following the bewildered keyboardist. My point to him at the end of the set was to point out to him that everyone there was having a great time, enjoyed what we played anyway, and didn't even notice the mistaken transitions. None in attendance of the party were masters students studying for their phD in music as he (the trumpet pla<x>yer) was. And so that he should just overlook the fact we didn't achieve the perfect experience of the song we attempted to play and focus on the fact that we still wowed the whole audience anyway, though it wasn't 'perfect'...

It's good to know that you know what you need to do! That's always the... third step, or something. So you're well on your way! I'm surprised you haven't gone about trying to improve your ability to let go a little with the same perfectionism that you apply to other stuff. ;)