I Am a Phd Student
i'm realizing that getting a phd is all about jumping through hoops...i'm a 4th year doctoral student in counseling psychology and this is quite possibly one of the most difficult endeavors i've ever undertaken...
the first year was literally hell, besides adjusting to the workload (quite a shock since undergrad and my master's degree were kinda a breeze), there was also adjusting to a different kind of student role amongst faculty members...plus with all the drama within my program that year i had serious doubts and was kinda turned off as half my cohort left...i know it's relatively normal for one person to leave, but we had FOUR people leave! On top of that, I ended a 4.5 year long serious relationship because my partner felt neglected because i had to put a lot of time into my studies
second year was a bit of a lull until the summer when studying for quals was the mission...again mad stressful and anxiety provoking...it's like a final exam on 2 full years of class...i passed 5 of the 6 questions on the quals first time around...the one i failed was purely a case of test anxiety and i was pretty glad that it was the one i'd be taking over because second time around it was a breeze...what made that bearable was that 2 other people who sat in the test had to retake one or two questions and these were people who i knew were smart and competent individuals so, i didn't feel so bad! as a bonus, right after completing quals, i met a wonderful woman (who i happen to be getting married to in a few months!)
third year the task is internship...any psych phd student knows that intenrship is like the pinnacle...since there is way more demand than supply, and you must complete an internship to get a degree, the pressure is on! the application is 35 pages and requires at least 5 essays...i completed way fewer than the statistically suggested applications...i've always been like that - i didnt see the need to apply to places just for the sake of doing it...i figured i'd get interviews where i fit and i ended up getting interviewed at 5 of the 8 sites i applied to...however, in the process of interviewing, i contracted a staph infection in my spine which laid me up - i literally did phone interviews from my hospital bed! and since the prognosis at the time was unclear and i was facing a potential surgery with a year long recovery, i decided to withdraw from the binding match process....that was a disappointing decision to make considering i was so close...
so my fourth year has consisted of working at my GAship and trying to make progress on my dissertation...oh yeah, and re-applying to internships! i was fortunate in my internship match and ended up at the same site i'd hoped to be at the prior year...the dissertation? well, that continually makes me want to pull out my hair...it's may...i've been working on it hard for like 6 months now and i still have not proposed...at the same time i'm trying to get my proposal defense sorted, i'm trying to plan a wedding, and then a cross country move for internship in august!
so yeah, any tips on getting through the last hoop of dissertation? i know the whole set small goals and such but i'm not too adept at that...my process is all over the place...any procrastinators out there? cuz that's probably my biggest challenge when it comes to this,,,and the fact that i often hate the whole thing lol....
