I Am A Pipe Smoker
Several years ago, for no particular reason* I decided to begin smoking a pipe. Why not, I'm not getting any younger, why pretend to be youthful, and portray an image of verve and vitality when I'm in truth a smelly, crusty old fart who doesn't play well with others? What better hobby for the socially retarded, than something as socially objectionable and olfactoraially offensive as smoking?
I must say though, from these cynical beginnings a true fondness has grown between me and my pipes. Oh I have a few now. I started out with a straight stemmed briar pipe and a bunch of online "how to pack and light and smoke and clean your pipe" type of websites (seems the more experienced smokers are perfectly eager to help corrupt the novice, which is jolly good.) My second pipe some months later was a bent stem briar pipe, which has become my favorite. It's smoldering away between my lips as I type, the sweet aroma of cherry tobacco permeates the air around me. It's a bit early, otherwise I'd have a dram of fine scotch whiskey, proper stuff, you know, hundred dollars a bottle, it's my only pleasure, my sole luxury.
I find the bent stems hang in the mouth better, straight pipes you sort of have to hold in your teeth and set your jaw, a bent stem will hang nicely. Contrary to popular opinion, smoking a pipe does not make you grow fond of leather elbow patches, plaid or wood paneling. However I must confess, I've been saying things like "splendid" and "poppycock" and "what the devil" a whole lot more often, especially when I'm having a pipe. What's odd is that this words simply do not work in any context whatsoever UNLESS you are smoking a pipe when you say them.
I think more smokers should favor a pipe. I believe pipes, like hats, are essential for a healthy, virtuous community. You think about it, ever since the 40's when men stopped wearing hats and cigarettes became more popular than pipes, manners have just really gone to the dogs. It's a travesty. A real human tragedy, I tell you. So I'm doing my part. I own a fedora and I smoke a pipe. What more can a good man in a mad world do?
*disclaimer. no particular reason, loosely translated, equals in this case, "because I saw lord of the rings and gandalf looked so damn cool smoking his pipe with bilbo." please don't tell anyone.
I must say though, from these cynical beginnings a true fondness has grown between me and my pipes. Oh I have a few now. I started out with a straight stemmed briar pipe and a bunch of online "how to pack and light and smoke and clean your pipe" type of websites (seems the more experienced smokers are perfectly eager to help corrupt the novice, which is jolly good.) My second pipe some months later was a bent stem briar pipe, which has become my favorite. It's smoldering away between my lips as I type, the sweet aroma of cherry tobacco permeates the air around me. It's a bit early, otherwise I'd have a dram of fine scotch whiskey, proper stuff, you know, hundred dollars a bottle, it's my only pleasure, my sole luxury.
I find the bent stems hang in the mouth better, straight pipes you sort of have to hold in your teeth and set your jaw, a bent stem will hang nicely. Contrary to popular opinion, smoking a pipe does not make you grow fond of leather elbow patches, plaid or wood paneling. However I must confess, I've been saying things like "splendid" and "poppycock" and "what the devil" a whole lot more often, especially when I'm having a pipe. What's odd is that this words simply do not work in any context whatsoever UNLESS you are smoking a pipe when you say them.
I think more smokers should favor a pipe. I believe pipes, like hats, are essential for a healthy, virtuous community. You think about it, ever since the 40's when men stopped wearing hats and cigarettes became more popular than pipes, manners have just really gone to the dogs. It's a travesty. A real human tragedy, I tell you. So I'm doing my part. I own a fedora and I smoke a pipe. What more can a good man in a mad world do?
*disclaimer. no particular reason, loosely translated, equals in this case, "because I saw lord of the rings and gandalf looked so damn cool smoking his pipe with bilbo." please don't tell anyone.
By:
Musical
Age:
36-40
,
Male
1
response
