I Am A Big Girl Struggling To Find Myself Again

I'm 31. For as long as I can remember I have been a plus sized girl. Over the last few years I have lost me somewhere. I am now ashamed of being this way. I uses to be the advocate of being big and proud, but now I hide indoors so no one will see me. I have taken some serious hits in my non-existent love life. Being hurt over and over has driven a stake in my heart and self esteem. I put on a smile for others to see, but inside I cry. I'm beginning to think that that there isn't anyone out there for me, and that I will live the rest of my life alone with my cat. This isn't me. This wasn't how I used to be. I don't know who I am anymore. I cry at night because I've reached this crossroad. Medically I've has some mysterious pain attack me, and even had a rude ignorant Dr tell me that genetically I shouldn't expect anything different, and that I should try walking. I walk all day at work, I don't eat the best, but its not overly bad. I don't know anymore. I'm broken inside and have no idea how to fix me anymore. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lonely.
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31-35
3 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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I have been a plus sized woman all my life too! I was ridiculed a lot as a child, given nicknames that followed me like twinkie. It took a long time for me to be ok with it, but that only happened when I took the approach of things not changing and accepting it. But that wasn't healthy either. Don't let doctors try and tell you genetics will get the best of you and you can't do it. I found something that works for me! I've gone down from a size 24/26 to almost an 18 so far in the last month with healthy products. I want to help people not feel like I did. You should never feel hopeless! :) I'd be happy to help you if you'd like. No pressure. I just understand that feeling and want to give back. You should smile every morning that you wake up!!!

Don't give up!!! You know your diet isn't the best so change that. Start by eating right. You now walk then commit to run...to sweat. That's the only way to do it. It's not easy but if you don't like it change it...this is your one life...make the difference to yourself. Love body and feed yourself with the best. You can do it if you really want it.