Prisoner In My Own World

Im 45, with 4 children and married.  I was laid off from work in june 2010.  I've been paying on a car which is in my husband name and the car tags need to be renewed.  and he own renew the tags/stickers.  I've been asking since 2010.  It will be 2 year this June.  I go nowhere, we go nowhere.  I make plans to go out with the children and he find an excuse not to take us anywhere.  He's on drugs and he steals from us.  I have things hidden and lockup from him.  He works nights.  If we do go out it is with him at all times.  I need a way out and I have no one to turn too.  I really need a job to leave and a car to drive far away.  I cry alot to myself.  I know despression has set in.  I have thought of suicide and leave a note that my husband is on drugs and for my children should be with my only sister.  Im need a way out.  I have not money, I have thought of running away, but I need money for me and kids to get on a bus to go to another state.  Im soooo, lost, confused and lonely.  I love myself and my children, I'll never kill myself.  I can't leave my children.  Im not ashame, my name is Jacqueline and I live in Maryland.
suki66 suki66
3 Responses May 8, 2012

There is no reason why you should remain in a bad relationship. The car payments, mortgage, and bills are just excuses. Leave. Take the kids and go. You live in America, and thank your lucky starts you do, instead of some developing country where you really are screwed. At least here you'll find shelters for battered women and food stamps. Plus don't you have some sympathetic relatives who can help you while you get on your feet?

You need to call for help. Call some services, police...someone!

Sorry to read this, hope things work out.