What Is Wrong With Me???

I have been a prostitue since i was 12 years old and i am now 22. the last three years i have had two children and my veiws on work has changed. i love the money too much that i can not stop turining tricks, although i have stopped street prostitution long ago i am now a exotic dancer and i meet majority of my clients through the many diffent clubs i work at through out the states. The money is good, but i long to be " regular". I have a boyfriend that i have been seing for the last four years and he is okay with my job, whatever makes me happy but he makes by far enough for me to quit and i still can not. I want to but at the same time i dont want to. i hate to admitt that i am real hoe, I have been trained to think this way before i turned my first trick. this is not all i know yet i do not want to be doing this for the rest of my life and i also dont want to keep feeling bad about meself because of what i do.... See lol whats wrong with me???
EmilianaMuna EmilianaMuna
22-25
2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

No you are good.. You confess to your boyfriend as well ... That's the healthy.. Money is everything.. you have to raised...You are doing good job... Love you...

I'm no pschologist and this is just my opinion but, I think what's "wrong with" you (your words, not mine) is more the way you seem to feel about yourself than what or who you are. Maybe there's nothing "wrong with" you other than how you view yourself. You seem smart and insightfull, but also quite troubled. I think you need a better sense of self worth and I suppose that starts with beliveing in it yourself.

If the lifestyle is making you feel the way you do perhaps it's time to leave it behind. On the other hand you need to decide for yourself what's right or wrong, (not what other people think) and act accordingly.

All I will say about the lifestyle is I'm sure it has certain risks (health and personal safety) and I guess one must weigh those against their reponsibilities and willingness to continue to accept those risks.