An IntroductionBefore I start writing my anecdotes here on EP I would like to introduce myself by telling you some of my favourite and least favourite things. You can take this snapshot to profile me and then you can decide if I'm somebody you'd like to befriend or somebody you'd rather mow down in your Range Rover. I guess I'm an acquired taste...
Firelighters, rain, Coronation Street, the green triangles in Quality Street, black coffee, Hello! magazine, creosote, hairy chests (but not hairy backs!), red wine, Amsterdam coffee shops (the kind that sell twenty different types of weed!), supermarket cashiers, candles, thunder, granny boots, wisteria, Friday nights, kitchen-sink drama, Joni Mitchell, rag-rugs, purple, big-eaters, swearing, open fires, Sunday lunch, rude drivers, pierced belly-buttons, black nail varnish, fish and chips, tacky seaside resorts, fairgrounds, fried onions, fridge magnets, curry, mushroom-picking, darts, old-fashioned bathtubs, abstract art, garden centres, Frey Bentos steak and kidney pies, washing lines, handwritten notes, pickling jars, potting sheds, nosy neighbours, people who expose themselves to ridicule on Reality TV, Michael Parkinson, Kate Rusby, peanut butter, foot massage, toasting forks, lumber rooms, owls, chocolate body paint, incense, black lace, Faye Weldon, rag and bone men, 70's sit-coms, Glam Rock, Glenda Jackson, poppies, rhubarb crumble, pachouli oil, mullioned windows, cats, bare floorboards, real ale, tattoos, Harleys, off-colour jokes, wind in the chimney, caravans, Mike Leigh,
Least favourite things:
Thimble collections, stuffed toys in the back windows of cars, orange squash, bumper stickers, the colour ‘teal’, PG Tips, pap-smears, politicians, fat women with bare midriffs, electric fires, heatwaves, fascists, beer steins, dried pampas grass, thongs, blokes with long fingernails, cellophane-wrapped flowers from the petrol station, margarine, public toilets, the M1, graffiti, officious library attendants, racists, deep-root canals, gynecologists, dandelions, Barratt houses, randy priests, artificial sweetener, patterned carpet, blood sports, low water pressure, gay-bashers, white satin, xenophobes, Chick-Lit, Australian soaps, processed cheese, mobile phones, Izal toilet tissue, second-hand smoke, spitting (or ‘gozzing’ as we call it round here!), breast implants, brushed nylon sheets, Simon Cowell, fake tans, sweet sherry, fat-free anything…
So that's me in a nutshell. Say hello or feel free to insult me, I am impervious to unkind words and have suffered them for most of my life. It's all part and parcel of putting yourself out there on the internet; trolls really do exist.
BarmyCow 51-55, F 0 May 7, 2012