Understanding Prude….


Webster says:


Main Entry: prude Listen to the pronunciation of prude

Pronunciation: ˈprüd

Function: noun

Etymology: French, good woman, prudish woman, short for prudefemme good woman, from Old French prode femme

: a person who is excessively or priggishly attentive to propriety or decorum; especially : a woman who shows or affects extreme modesty


That though isn’t how most of us use or understand the word.  We consider a “prude” to be someone who is uptight and dare I say stingy and selfish with themselves and their physical body.

This posting is not at all aimed at the Mj915.  She and her husband it appears to me communicate well and are merely respecting each others boundaries.  I would NOT at all consider her to be a prude.

I do though see all the massive tons of stories on Ep and know of many personal friends who struggle in their marriages because of one or the other of them not being mindful of their partners’ physical and emotional needs.

I’m not going to quote scripture here…but will say that my understanding of the directive there is that our physical bodies in marriage are to be a gift given to our spouse for their enjoyment.  Flip side of that is that the spouse receiving the gift is to love honor and cherish it.  Not in any way harm…but rather protect and love.

 A visual here that I’ve stated before to friends is this.  You basically tie a big bow around yourself and give yourself to the one you love.

 It’s about stretching at times and going outside our comfort zone for our spouse.  For them it’s about not expecting too much, being thankful for what is given; and being willing to do the same for you.

Something as simple as while not preferring a particular sexual position…but doing it anyway on occasion simply because your spouse loves it.  Not perhaps being in the mood but allowing your spouse to “convince you” because they are.  Initiating sex.  Being mindful not to leave the impression that your just doing it because you have to.

This is just my opinion based on the tons of conversations I have had with people…but I really feel that it is not about how many times a week.  Its about the lack of a general sense of being wanted..of being desired…of being loved.

Women or men who are “prudes” in the bedroom I imagine have no clue the pain and insecurity they are causing in their spouses or significant others.



Lexus Lexus
36-40, F
11 Responses Nov 6, 2007

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I have lived with my husband for thirty years and there is nothing that I have not tried at least once to make his life happy and when hubby is happy, you can guess the rest. Datadue

Modesty does forbid some things. Within a relationship, there should be no bounds.

busy busy....LOL<br />
<br />
aww...hate to hear yuor hubby is deployed. I do understand those struggles from personal experience.

LOL Let's just put it this way....right now, I could be in the sexless marriage group, because my husband is in Iraq. But, when he's here.....It's the farthest thing from it. And after 8 years and four children, I think that says a lot.

Nothing at all wrong with being classy and modest!!!

mj...as long as your hubby doesnt feel you are depriving him...as long as he doesnt feel you arent being mindful of his needs....<br />
<br />
Being classy and modest...nothing at all wrong there!<br />
<br />
This was aimed at people who emotionally and physically literally starve their mates.

I guess I'm a pretty literal person, because, lol I did know the derivation of the word prude and although, I guess I wouldn't consider myself to be excessively modest, I am definitely *aware* of what kind of image I am projecting. I want people to see me as the classy, intelligent and loving woman that I am. I don't want people to base their impressions of me on my physical appearance. You can still be massively sexy while maintaining your 'modesty'. But, again...this is just me. :) I don't expect anyone else (except my daughters as long as they are under my roof, lol no boobs, no belly, no butt!) to follow the directives I give myself, and I don't think that I am too judgmental about other people's choices. I know what's right for me, and I know what kind of role model I want to be for my girls, and also for my sons.

I know Lexus. I love to keep things open in my relationship with my husband. I look at his needs and he looks at my needs. We focus on each other.

picgirl...you and your hubby are A LOT more comfortable in your skin than most of us....LOL <br />
<br />
For each couple its different...its just about being proactive and mindful. Communicating and being reactive to each others needs. <br />
<br />
So many dont do any of that...and its just plain SAD!

Lexus.....you have said it all sweetie!!! I love the thought and feeling that you put into this and it is so true. I would have never dreamed of taking nude pictures for anyone until I met my husband. I trust him and I opened a side of me that I thought never existed. I am comfortable with the sex and trying new things in the bedroom. Our sex life is not an open book.....I just dont mind sharing myself in pictures for him. I love the way he makes me look in those pictures. He is one amazing photographer. Thats just how I feel.

Yeah...gotta give it up to live it up...