Feeding Revives Me From Depression

Hi everyone, nice to meet you. This is a little story of the emotionally tramatic events that occured in my youth that lead me to feeding for survival and how I found that vampire was what I was. My real experinces are oddly somehow like a combo of real energy vamps and the story-book ones, with all the despair, feeling in a tomb/dead, isolation, and outcast.
P.S. Luckily a month ago I finally found a job and am saving for my own place to get away from this hell hole.

I believe I may be a psi vampire due to events that occured through my childhood and the majority of my teen years. As a very young child I was very intelligent, seemed to know the thoughts of others,and always extremly aware of the emotions of those around me, but unfortunatly most of those whom I was around were very negative people/chonicly depressed/with some psychosis. They ween't violent or anything, they seemed pretty emotionless about anything and everything.
My mother was one of these people, and from youth untill 14 yrs. of age she had homeschooled (though rarley taught) me and kept me isolated from society and any people. I will tell you that being raised form birth more than half a decade from other humans will make you drained, out of touch, and slightly mad.
My family always said that I was an absolutly horrible child that was crazy and needed to be put into a ward or that I was possesed. But I knew even from extremly young that my endless rage came from isolation, both from the outside and rarley ever spoken to within the home. Wouldn't you guys flip out if you were trapped for nearly 20 years? (How could such idiots not understan?) With the time spent on pent up madness, within the past year I've been able to smell/mentally taste the blood of those whom I've reviled, I lucid-dreamt once that I allowed myself to fully express the emotional pain that I've been scapegoated for by those who don't understand. I turned into a beast and smelled the warm blood so pure from my mother in the next room. Then I woke up, but whatever.

Through many years of downs, a heart filled of black, and other beastly rages, I used to feel bad for not kissing their ***, for not being perfectly fine with isolation and even thinking of suicide to be free. Then I later I accepted that I was a cruel person to them (if you call fighiting for your right to be a human "cruel"), and regretted no moment of it, as it was for survival. Then a great day came when i saw a documentery about real vamps. I looked it up and identified with feeling drained and needing to feed. I also identified with other things, like feeling/feeding on other people's energy and feeling like a refreshed person during storms and sometimes watching people argue, the more violent the better. And being as drained as I was I knew I needed to take advantage of feeding.
That is my story.
Psikochick Psikochick
18-21, F
May 7, 2012