I Have Been Told I Am Sociopathic

I have been told that I suffer from Pschopathy ( sociopath) due to the emotional trauma of being told I was adopted at the age of 36.
I have met my real parents but have kept this secret from my adopted mother.
I would not know if I am different as I am what I am and feel what I feel....and thats all I know. I am interested in peoples thoughts on the subject as the condition intrigues me. I understand emotion but dont wish to feel it and why would you ? to me it seems an unnecessary suffering ?
People tend to avoid me and never confront me on anything that I do as that would not be very intelligent of them if they did. Even I am shocked at what I can do to people if they anger me....although on the outside I show anger but inside I am laughing. I do not kill or have a need to kill that is pointless as you end up with nothing and there are better ways for personal gain.and I have nothing to fear from anyone so no need to use violence against them. Always assume to others that you act within the law.

My wife is trying to leave me as she and her family are now aware of what I might be and are now in fear of me. I have no feelings towards them or our current situation so they can just go....so long as they dont try to hurt me in some way all will be well for them.
I have tried really hard to care, to try and feel what it will be like when they are gone and im alone but I just feel nothing no thoughts,no loss ..just emptyness which I seem comfortable with.
When I think about my life I have to admit that I have never really loved anyone nor do I feel anything about other people or animals. I also think that If someone dies ....well they are dead... nothing unusual there. We all die.
I have never felt sorry for anyone but I do show goodwill although I dont really mean it.

I will attempt to see a doctor to see if they can look into my world and find out if I really am what people say I am but I doubt that will come to much.
Are there others out there that no what is going on in my mind.
Anotherhumanbeing Anotherhumanbeing
41-45, M
5 Responses May 9, 2012

I have been seeing a shrink for sometime now and if im honest it became a game for me to see if I could get her to work out what was going on in my brain. At first she did well and said I see Cluster B traits on your personality ..So I stepped up my pitch and she could not work out what was going on so brought in Psychologist to help her. I could she was out of her depth and was nervous of me ......and in the end confirmed that I had a personality disorder and was a risk to myself and others and could even harm the general public but because she felt I would not harm my children there was nothing more she could do to help me and told I did not need to see her any more !.. This is shame as I was enjoying the games I played with her head ...look I don't care what I am but do enjoy the manipulation and have learnt a lot from these games andf look forward to using my skills on a few people that have ended up in my black book for over stepping the mark with me. I cannot wait to get inside their heads The thing is, UK health service let people,who could be a threat to society, just go free without any treatment or monitoring of any kind ?? free to kill or worse ( there is worse trust me ), if I was a lesser person I would not feel safe anymore but for me its an acheivement and a bit of a result ...........just I thought I would share this

you know ...I quite enjoy being who I am ....even if nobody else does

Well well well ....time for a change I think

looking back pretty much the same, I was seemingly popular and had a lot of friends but they are all gone now...except for one. <br />
People did a lot for me but I cannot remember doing much back in return, I guess I was a taker not a giver. But I was not ( and still not ) aware that this was wrong. <br />
I was unwanted at birth ( I now this from reading documentation on my adoption) so in theory I should not even exist..well thats my conclusion anyway so the fact I am here I should get all I can ..no one cares for me so why should I care for anyone. Besides caring just makes no sense to me, I just do not understand the concept, I draw a complete blank when I try have feelings or emotions ...so alien so I just smile when everyone else does and be sad when everyone else is sad. ....cant do it for real .<br />
I have never been able to cry either.<br />
Even though I am very comfortable in my own shoes I clearly do not fit the norm, as I have been told this a few times so what am I then ?

you are.... intriguing....if you had only felt this way since your "trauma" I would simply think you are just overwhelmed by anger...but there might...be something going on....I would like to at this stage emphasise...might be....you do have traits...stick around...

I doctor has arranged for me to see a psychiatrist next week so I wonder what he/she makes of all of this

it appears I may be a socailised Psychopath ?
whatever that means ?
They were worried about by lack of empathy, total lack of remorse and the fact that I have been cruel to animals in the past. I asked if it was Ok to be cruel to humans but they gave no response to that question.
I have to commit a crime for a full attempt at a diagnosis......if they catch me that is

hmm...what were you like...before your trauma?