I Have A Hunger To Kill.

I don't know how to begin to be honest. For the past 2 months I've been having sick urges to kill, everyone I see, I imagine myself murdering them, either slicing there throats or stabbing them in the gut. It's discusting I know, I have been trying to convince myself that It's just anger issues as every time I get angry, the urge becomes heightened. Some days I feel fine, i forget until someone mentions the word knife, throat or anything even slightly revolving around the subject of murder. I have a fantasy, i want everyone to fear me and I want my name known as someone not to go near. Sometimes I can just walk down the street and imagine killing a passer by, I can't stop dreaming or thinking about it. If the subject of serial killers or physco's comes up in a conversation and someone calls them sick, i want to tear out there throats, I admire the people who have the guts to kill, i admire them accepting who they are. I know this sounds crazy, I need help I can feel it but strangely I'm slightly proud, I can't tell anyone but I'm afraid to leave it. I love horror movies, another reason to blame these thoughts on, I'd adore to torture someone like they do on there, I have this insane thrill to chase someone before killing them. It's utterly disturbing but the sad thing is, I'm in my teenage years and I'm very polite and good mannered, nobody would ever understand how I'm feeling inside, if I told anyone, they would send me away, I know it. Do I need medical advice or is this possibly just a phase? Has anyone else experienced it and how do I seek medical advice without telling my parents or friends. I can't do this alone.
mystery57 mystery57
9 Responses May 20, 2012

as crazy as others people see you, i feel the same way myself. I thought and dreamt a lot more than you and i ended up stalking somebody i hated home. It was the perfect target. I wanted to slice the throat so badly. As i was ready to go the next day ( i even had knifes ready) my mother picked me up from school early to go to the dentist. The next day i fought the urge because i thought about what others would think when they found out it was me. I made peace with who i was, i embraced it. I keep it in the back of my head in case i need to use it. I promised myself i wouldnt kill for pleasure. I got used to living this way. No one knows, and i want to keep it that way. There is not much advice i can give except to make peace with it. If you need extra help do not hesitate to ask me please.

Right! I totally get you.

Oh wow, this is way older than I thought. This place is.. not active. Welp.

Why bother being anxious about it...? It's easy enough to just not do those things if you don't want to. Think about it, enjoy thinking about it, and move on.<br />
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Though 'moving on' sounds like it may be a hard part for you. It even sounds like part of you is really bothered by these thoughts, which isn't indicative of psychopathy at all. Intrusive thoughts can be a sign of a lot of things, and most of them don't escalate into hurting someone. Because psychologists know this, they don't send people away for them. Sooo. If you're bothered, get therapy. The end.

Yup Victoria720 looks suss. <br />
"Her" tone and sentence structure does not look like a women wrote it in the first place. Probably not even "her" number.

You've just got some misguided anger like every teenager, yet you want to feel special. Sounds pretty normal to me. Turn your energy and attention to improving your spelling, that will certainly help.

Hey mystery57 I think we have a lot in common, I would like to talk to you because you have some of the same urges I have. Especially the want to feel powerful and be feared. I love to intimidate and scare people, and to feel powerful and in control. I have fantasies similar to yours, well exactly like yours. It's nice to know other people feel this way. I'm also in my teens, in fact it's my birthday in 2 days. I have to spend it with family so I'll probably ending up murdering someone, haha jk. :P Here's my number: (225) 325-7200 text me, let's talk <br />
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- V

I used to suffer these thoughts as well as a teen. You may be like me- a socialized psychopath who has these feelings but knows the consequences of these actions.<br />
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You do need help. Coping skills will help your learn what you need to do in life to help you live comfortably. In reality being a serial killer is not in your nature. You do have the capacity to kill but you have the insight for self preservation. That is why you question your impulses. Serial killers will kill and be killed. It is just how it goes. Kill a lot of people and get a lethal injection.<br />
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Sometimes it is scary- you wonder if you can control yourself. You sound intelligent and insightful so I am confident that you can. But you may need help to do so. I recommend therapy but be careful in admitting to homicidal tendencies. This will get you pink slipped to a psych ward. Only if you feel you cannot control your impulses should you admit to them. In reality a psych ward is better then prison but I choose to avoid both.<br />
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A socialized psychopath resists the urge to kill. That is where coping skills come in to play. You learn to push these thoughts out of your mind or entertain them for a short time while accepting that your life is more important then living in a jail cell.

It's good to know I'm not the only one who has experienced this. I think I should proberly tell someone about these thoughts, your completely right. Thanks for your slight understanding.

"sick urges" "it's disgusting I know" "it's utterly disturbing" <br />
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My thoughts....you really don't think you are a psychopath.,..you came to this group hoping to meet some one who is? correct me if I am wrong...but the words you write, the ones I have noted....are not the thoughts I have surrounding these things....to think that, is to think there is something wrong with me...and there is not. <br />
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you are a teen? well could be you have some kind of depression/bipolar and it has triggered what is known as "intrusive thoughts" wiki it if you want to know more. Or you play a lot of video games...watch to many movies. and this is "just a phase"

It's certainly not depression.

just threw that in as depression or more bipolar has been connected to intrusive thoughts....which sounds like what you are having....either way, your not a psychopath....