I Love This Dialogue

Jules:        So, tell me again about the hash bars.
Vincent:     Okay, what you wanna know?
Jules:        Hash is legal there, right?
Vincent:     Yeah, it’s legal, but it ain’t a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can’t walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffing away. They want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places.
Jules:        And those are hash bars?
Vincent:     It breaks down like this: it’s legal to buy it, it’s legal to own it, and if you’re the proprietor of a hash bar, it’s legal to sell it. It’s legal to carry it, but that doesn’t really matter ’cause get a load of this, all right? If you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it’s illegal for them to search you. I mean, that’s a right the cops in Amsterdam don’t have.
Jules:        Oh, man! I’m going, that’s all there is to it. I’m ******* going.
Vincent:     Yeah baby, you’d dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
Jules:        What?
Vincent:     It’s the little differences. I mean, they got the same **** over there that they got here, but it’s just – it’s just there it’s a little different.
Jules:        Example?
Vincent:     All right. Well, you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don’t mean just like in no paper cup, I’m talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald’s. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules:        They don’t call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
Vincent:     Nah, man, they got the metric system. They wouldn’t know what the **** a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules:        What do they call it?
Vincent:     They call it a “Royale with Cheese.”[2]
Jules:        “Royale with Cheese.”
Vincent:     That’s right.
Jules:        What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent:     A Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but they call it “Le Big Mac”.
Jules:        “Le Big Mac.” [laughs] What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent:     I dunno, I didn’t go into Burger King. But, you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
Jules:        What?
Vincent:     Mayonnaise.
Jules:        God damn!
Vincent:     I seen them do it, man, they ******* drown them in that ****.
Jules:        That’s some ****** up ****.
cherrytaught cherrytaught
26-30, M
Dec 15, 2012