Not On A Windy Day!I always wore skirts from when I was a little girl. I liked them, even though they were a requirement for school and work. I don't like the pencil skirts, especially the short ones--too uncomfortable when trying to sit on a stool. My favorite type is the full-circle or pleated skirt that I can tuck down so I can sit comfortably without everyone peeking at my underwear.
When the school dress code was relaxed in the Ninth Grade, I still preferred to wear a skirt to class rather than slacks or jeans. I just felt more dressed up. I went to high school in the Seventies, and of course pantihose were the order of the day. No girl in her right mind wore a garter belt--that was for moms like mine, who wore a girdle and stockings every day. Looking at that contraption, I often wondered how she could stand being so confined.
When I got married I bought some naughty things for my honeymoon, including two garter belts, a white one and a black one. Since I had never worn garter stockings before, I asked my Mom, the garter expert, how to wear the belt. She showed me how to put it on, adjust the garter straps and where to put them--not over your butt, or they would stretch and snap--but along the sides of your hips. Then she explained how to hook up the stockings--raise your knee for the front garters, and bend over from the waist to button up the rear ones.
Then it hit me! This was not uncomfortable at all. I was so tired of wrestling with my pantihose, constantly pulling them up and smoothing them down, and, after walking around or a while, end up with the crotch around my knees. Garters held my stockings smooth and straight, and gave me such a secure feeling. Still and all, I wouldn't try the girdle.
One day I decided to wear the garter belt to work with a pleated skirt and circle slip. The skirt was just above my knees, so even if I sat down my stocking-tops would not show.
At lunch time I walked down Main Street to get a bite to eat. It was a beautiful Spring day--the sun was shining and all was right with the weather.
I don't know where the wind came from. The weather people had not predicted any gales. But suddenly there it was--a strong gusty wind that went right for my hemline.
Up went the accordion pleats. Since I wore a circle slip, rather than an A-line that would have stayed down, the little petti went right up too! There for all of Main Street to see at lunch hour was my white garter belt straining at my nylon stockings. Not to mention getting a good eyeful of my lace-edged panties! Oh God!
I shoved my skirt down in front, but as I did so the wind caught the back of it and blew it high above my pantied rear. Luckily I had been walking with another lady, who instinctively grabbed hold of my flapping skirt in back while I held it down in front. In this manner we minced carefully down the sidewalk to the safety of the fast-food place and out of the wind. I could hear the entire lunch hour crowd laughing at my predicament. My face must have been as red as my hair, and luckily that had been tied into a ponytail so at least it wouldn't be going anywhere.
Back at work I took the elevator to my floor, and saw a male co-worker standing there grinning at me.
"Some wind, huh?" he quipped.
"So you saw me, huh?" I replied.
"Don't worry," he laughed. "It's nothing no one hasn't seen before."
I wonder if that included the garter belt?
Never again, I vowed. No more garters and stockings to work. From now on, I will wear them privately for my husband, and not for the entire city to feast their eyes on.
Skirts are great, and I love wearing them. But I always listen to the forecast to see which way the wind is blowing. Today, for instance, they predicted 30 to 40 mile-per-hour winds. Guess what I'm wearing today?
My mom jeans.