Help?

This is going to sound absurd.
I'm ripping apart inside, I have been for a long time.

Beginning:
I've liked wolves since I was a kid. Literally loved them. Cats hate me I just assumed it was just because. When the full moon hits I die of hunger. I can't get enough rare meat, it's awful. But as soon as the moon passes I'm no longer hungry. I thought maybe it had something to do with hormones or some crap along those lines because it made sense. It was logical.
I started following the Pagan path four years ago and ever since I've been looking into other nature based religions including Native American's religions. I found the wolf, and realized almost immediatly upon meditation this was my spirt animal. I've been connecting with it, trying to fully grasp the spirit animal though I'm still not exactly sure what they're for (I'm still in the learning process of the religion...) I get this strong senation I'm meant to be on all fours leading a pack. Back in middle school some girl tried doing some research BS on me. Actually I don't even know what she tried to do, my friend told me. She was looking into me because she thought I was a werewolf. At the time I thought she was ****** up. I thought maybe she had some mental issues and ignored her and my friend who told me about it. It was just too weird.

I'm 18. Eighteen and I'm trying to figure out whats wrong with me, and why I have this awful sense of unbelonging. Maybe I was a wolf in a past life, I believe in reincarnation. I'm not so sure I believe myself having were blood in me. I've been looking at some of the stories on here and confessions and I'm so completely lost. I feel like I know the answer but I have no clue honestly. I just need some kind of help/advice. Even if that advice is go see a counsler.

Symptoms: 
Eating a ton before and on the full moon then not being as hungry after.(hormones?)
When I get angry I shake, and get hot, I have uncontroable anger and It's almost impossible to control. (Maybe i'm just bipolar)
My mom's mom and dads  mom were both 75% indian. One was Cherokee i'm not sure about the other.
I get this urge to snarl at people when I'm angry. It's crazy weird because sometimes I can almost catch myself growling too..
I'm overly protective of friends and family.
I'm a leader. I don't submit to people, I don't take crap, I don't follow. End of story.
I always try to get others to submit to me. It sounds really weird but let me explain normally first lol. I try to get people to look away from eye contact or look down. When I'm with a significant other I always feel the need to see them admitting their vulnerable to me somehow.

Maybe I'm just completely ****** up and having these symptoms for no reason other than their there. 

Any help would be great, thanks.
xxForgottenandFoundxx xxForgottenandFoundxx
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 9, 2012

I read you story and I too feel these same symptoms I believe I am connected to a wolf somehow to

It's an odd feeling, especially when you have no idea. It's like you're completely lost until you figure it out. I just want to know anything so I don't feel like I don't know half of myself anymore.

I'm just happy there are others out there who feel what we feel, I just don't want to feel this way and I hope we can find the answers we seek

Agreed.

Message me, I might be able to help or point you in the right direction

o...k...

Great help.
Thanks.