Calling

Hello fellow wolves. I just wanted to share my story of how I finally found my true self with you all. And, it'd be nice to write out some frustration from the whole process, and hopefully it'll inspire you all to share yours as well. Ever since I was a small girl I've always felt a connection towards the wild tendencies most people frown upon. It was an unexplainable thing. I can remember when I first moved to the town I currently live in, it was first grade and I was immediately stamped with the 'New Kid' label smack dab on my forehead. A girl, who now is my sister and alpha female, and I would always growl at each other and fight for territory on the playground. Though at the time our intentions weren't as complex then. Our basic train thought was 'This is mine, get the heck away.' We acted on instinct. Now that I look back on it, we both acted as two wild wolves would. We were wary of one another, and since she was there first, she saw me as an intruder and territorial senses kicked in. I wouldn't act as your normal kid and out of judgement from my family and other kids, I repressed these actions and habits to avoid being singled out. Though the strange sense that I wasn't a normal kid would never leave my mind. It's hard to explain when you know you're not human, cause no one experiences it the same. Others accept them, others hide them deep within themselves. As I grew up with the girl, (I will not say her real name for privacy purposes so lets just call her Raven.), we'd constantly grapple for dominance. Bus rides home... More like bus ride of 'Lets see who submits first'. I still have a scar on my arm from where she clawed me. Over time we established a tolerance of each other. I don't think I noticed it then, but I never acted on my true instincts of the wolf unless I was around Raven. She wasn't afraid to act on them and I think because of that I admired her for it. As the years progressed we became closer and created an unbreakable bond as sisters, and pack mates. But that pack doesn't come till later. I always kept my wolf instincts at bay, embarrassed at my 'unusual' child actions. Even around Raven I would only express them rarely. It was a conflicting thing. Eventually it got to me, and I was plagued with dream after dream of werewolves and wolf like beings. A majority of them hinting that I was indeed, not human. Dreams, even though some think them of wild subconscious thoughts, can be a very powerful thing. Especially if you ignore them. It wasn't until last year, sophomore year, that I found others of my kind. There are others out there, in schools, colleges, work, bars, everywhere. You just sometimes can't see it. I find it ironic how a majority of my friends I found out to be wolves. I guess sometimes the universe works in odd ways. Anyways, after years of scrolling the internet in search of those who share my darkest secret, I now I have a pack that I belong too. One that have been my friends even before our wolf blood was known. I have to admit, it took some time and a lot of convincing for me to reveal my 'secret'. See, I worked my wolf blood so down into my mind that I would only share it to my journal. Hardly even then. It took one wolf, one we don't really care for and is a drifter in our pack, to really convince me of my wolf heritage. When he first met me, his first words were 'You smell familiar. Have we met before?' You can imagine my look of pure confusion. He later explained that it was of my scent, my wolf scent. He never let a day pass that he didn't urge me to accept it. I guess I have him to thank to actually accepting myself. Once he found out about my blood, I started to revive those subdued feelings. I have to say, I'm glad I did. It was hell feeling out of sync with myself. You are not a werewolf if you crave meat, love full moons, like the night, or any other stereotypical nonsense. Yes, we are at our peak when the moon is full, yes we are night creatures, but those are not a sure sign that you are a werewolf. It's in your veins, it's in your instincts. You'll know if your are a true werewolf. Don't base it off the Hollywood projections of werewolves. We don't eat humans either. Those are Lycans, a whole different kind of werewolves. And, for the love the of Gods we are not, I repeat, not, your Twilight werewolves. Ugh. That's bull. Even the vampire stuff if ridiculous. There's a vampire in our pack, and trust me, he doesn't sparkle. If he did, well, we'd all have some fun with that one. Oh, and the whole Vampire / Werewolf conflict is actually in fact true. Though there are some vampiric and wolf kind out there that do not hold such hatred toward each other. I have a Male and Female alpha that I love and consider my brother and sister. I'm also the female beta of my pack and currently training our male beta. Our pack consists of 12 members in all, also with a few drifters here and there. They've been there for me even through the tough times, and even when my 'mate' and I broke up. Yeah yeah, it's just another high school break up. It was, but wasn't. I was still trying to control my wolf instincts when I dated this boy, he was, unknown to me at the time, a hybrid. Half wolf half vampire. He made jokes about it a lot, but I only thought he was kidding. I made the unfortunate mistake to claim him as my mate. As the usual school love life goes, we broke up. My wolf took it the hardest though. My primal side saw him as my mate, and when we broke up, well, it was grieving time. My logical, reasonable side told me to get over it. In the end it worked, now he and I don't even speak. That's another thing about wolf bonds, when you mate, it's something more deeper than just love. Mating does not necessarily mean 'doing the deed'. To most, it means something much more. The Yin to your Yang. That is how it goes. At least for me and the wolves I know. I know a few who are rather... flexible with that statement. I was glad I had my pack there for me though. I finally found my family. My pack. I couldn't be more happy. There are a few packs in my school and others around the state. If you're looking for a pack to join, don't worry, there may not be an overabundance of them but there are some. You may be surprised to find even your best friends might share the blood of the wolf. Crazier things have happened. Accepting myself as I am, is about the best thing I've ever done. I love my pack, I love the feeling of completion. I hope this story inspired those to share their own. Don't bury your feelings, don't dismiss them as silly, childish things. Cause they're not. They're who you are. You are a wolf, you can keep the thought in the dark corners of your mind but if you feel the true blood of the wolf in you, it will always be there.