I Am A Real Werewolf

To Those Who Take It Seriously..

By: ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc

Written on February 18th, 2013

There isn't going to be a war. There won't be an army, there isn't going to be a werewolf vs everything else. Just stay on EP and enjoy yourselves.

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By: ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc

Age: 18-21 , Female

657 people have read this story

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54 responses

whitelupin

MY ARMY OF CLAM HUNTERS AND PINEAPPLE PENIS MONSTERS WILL KILL YOU ALL!!! RESISTANCE TO THE WAR IS FUTILE!! MUHAHAHA-AHHAHA..HAHA--*chokes on spit*
.................
i swear i was doing something important a second ago..lol

Mar 28
2 likes
- HuntLeader1990
  No you weren't. And oh no.. Not Pineapple Penis Monsters... O_O DON'T LET THEM BITE ME AGAIN! I just finally got cured yesterday when a werepanda bit me, but then a weremarmoset bit me later. But it'll be okay, because I'm gonna get a vampire to bite me so I can be a hybrid! I'll be a pandapire!!!
  
  Mar 28
  2 likes
- whitelupin
  my penis monster minions will slowly slurp in your limbs with their foreskins....there is no escape o-O
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  I just got really creeped out by that mental image... Like... REALLY creeped out... And maybe a little nauseous... >_> But you can't defeat me, even with your army of penis monsters. For I am the therian messiah... I am... THE WEREPANDA VAMPIRE HYBRID! I am the HOLY PANDAPIRE! BOW BEFORE MY AWESOME BAMBOO POWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  i can do worse..lol
  YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR MY CLAM HUNTERS!!! THEY WILL DEFEAT YOUR BAMBOO POWERS WITH THE DRIED SHELLS OF THEIR VANQUISHED VICTIMS--what the **** am i even talking about?? lol
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  Hahahahaha.... I have no idea... But I'm getting a kick out of it... ****** hilarious...
  YOU ARE ENEMIES OF THE WERECLAMS AS WELL? THEN JOIN US, OH GREAT CLAM HUNTER! FOR I, THE HOLY MESSIAH PANDAPIRE, AND THE BLESSED WEREDODO, CAN JOIN OUR POWER WITH YOURS. WE SHALL BE THE THERIANPIRE TRINITY! BOW TO OUR POWER AS WE VANQUISH OUR ENEMIES THE WERECLAMS!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  EXCELLENT. NOW I CAN HAVE SUPREME POWER!! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS JOIN YOUR CULT OF SUPREME-UNIVERSAL-ALL-BINDING-METAPHYSICAL-MAGICAL-(sorry, that should be "magickal" if i want to be a fairy fart sniffing specialist)-SUPERNATURAL-BUTTF*CKERY AND IT'LL ALL BE MINE!!!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  JOIN US! WITH OUR POWERS, WE SHALL CAST FAIRY FART SPELLS TO TURN OUR ENEMIES INTO A WEREWOLF ARMY TO SERVE US! BEHOLD MY POWER! I HAVE EVEN TAUGHT THE WERESQUIRRELS THE SACRED MAGICK OF MY MESSIANIC TEACHINGS... THE HOLY WORD!
  http://cdn.churchm.ag/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/skadoosh.jpg
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  ( i may or may not have just peed a little from laughing so hard xD)
  BAHAHAHA!!! OUR PLAN IS CARRYING OUT ACCORDINGLY. OUR MAGICCCKKKJJCHCCCKCKKKKKK SPELLS CAN'T BE COMPARED WITH ANY OTHER BRANCH OF SEBASTOPUDLIAN (my hometown citizen term) MAGJJICCKKK!!!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  (Damn girl! lol)
  THEY SHALL ALL BOW TO OUR POWER! LOVE US! LOVE US AS WE DEMAND TO BE LOVED! LOVE US OR WE SHALL TURN YOU ALL INTO NORMAL HUMANS WITH MENTAL DISORDERS AND ATTENTION ******! Wait... Too late... *yells to someone off to the side* I CAN'T DO IT! BECAUSE! BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE ALREADY DID! How many?! I DON'T KNOW! 75%?! 85%?!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  (lol not really, but you get the idea)
  LOVE US LIKE OUR PARENTS NEVER DID!!! JOIN OUR ARMY SO WE CAN COMPENSATE FOR OUR OWN SELF LOATHING!!!
  ...lol
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  WE DEMAND THIS LOVE FROM YOU, OR FACE MY WRATH! AND YES, I AM ALLOWED TO SHOW WRATH. I'M THE PANDAPIRE, THAT'S WHY *****! BEHOLD YOUR THERIAN MESSIAH! BEHOLD!
  (Wait... If I'm the pandapire messiah... Does that make you my Clam Hunter Magdalene?)
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  YUSSSS O____o
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  Then the wereflamingo in the post below us shall be my Peter... For he is the flamingo on which I shall build my slaughterhouse... I mean church... Yes. Yes... Church... DO NOT QUESTION THE PANDAPIRE AND HIS MAGDALENE!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  lol you get a cookie. *hands you one*
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  YAY COOKIE!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  And see, the fact that I am not only adorable, but also hilarious, is why I always get cookies!!! Lesson to all the kiddies out there: Cookies is good. But cookies is MINE. My cookies... *gives evil eye*
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  lol exactly *pats your head*
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  Yesh! I'm Peter the Salmon colored WereFlamingo! Do not make me glare at you.
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  LOL wereflamingo. that's a new one.
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  Yeah... we're not getting into the WereDodo fiasco, *smh*
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  Peter the WereFlamingo, verily I say this unto thee. Before the werechicken doth cluck, thou shalt betray me thrice. Once, when you turn me into the CIA. Once when you shall try to steal my bamboo. And the final time, when you try to steal my cookie. This shalt be thou last offense, for then I shalt have no other choice but to cast thee into TherianHell, where thou shalt be forced to listen to morons talk all day and night while boyband music plays over a loudspeaker! SO SAITH THE LORD THY PANDAPIRE!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  NOOOOOO! I'm already a member of EP!!!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  and my giggle fit returns...lol
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  I HAD TO SHARE THIS O_O
  https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/17900_310430652419043_911210444_n.jpg
  lmfao And this is how werelions hunt werezebras...
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- whitelupin
  BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
  
  Mar 29
  1 like
22 More Replies
HuntLeader1990

You are a liar! There is a war! I know! I'm a half werepanda half weremarmoset! And I am leading a battalion of werepires and weresquirrels against a demon army of wereclams and wererabbits! JOIN ME, MY BRETHREN!

Mar 28
2 likes
- KaimelarWolf
  Psh, bow before the WereDodo, I'm so rare, I'm extinct!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  Ahhh, the blessed WereDodo, we have long awaited your second coming! Join the pandapire, and we shall destroy the wereclam menace!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  Bwaha, I got my Chowder spoon ready and able!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  And now... With this might word of power and your mighty spoon, we shall lay waste to the wereclam menace... SKADOOSH!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  Wait!? After looking at a google image search of the weredodo, (thanks, Hunt), I have decided I do NOT want to be part of whatever it was I was looking at, so... BEHOLD, the WereFlamingo!!!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  Hey, people get to change what they are all the time on here... One day you are a werewolf, the next you're a hyrbid... So go ahead! JOIN OUR RANKS, WEREFLAMINGO! *tries to figure out if you are a girl or a guy* The pink... I's very confusing...
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  I'm Salmon colored!
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  Looks pink to me, bruh...
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- KaimelarWolf
  Yeah, but it is a manly shade of Pink... Ha! I couldn't even keep a straight face typing that, it's totally not manly.
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
- HuntLeader1990
  I didn't even finish reading that before I started laughing... I saw the term "manly shade of Pink" and fell over... lmfao
  
  Mar 28
  1 like
7 More Replies
MANGAGIRL1

You lot are deadfunny with that werewolves story:)

Mar 20
1 like
skellum

Interesting. I did not realize there was a website,although I suppose I should have known. "Technology",such as the web,is something I have had to get used to and make use of in order to remain competative in the more mundane aspects of my life. An old dog MUST learn new tricks-LOL. I think I shall have a look about.

Feb 19
1 like
ImpishToad

What!? No electronic boogerman? Good grief! How will I survive without my self-created drama?

Feb 19
2 likes
- ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
  I don't know, man. I struggle too.
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ImpishToad
  I'm scared. Better find the tinfoil.
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
  I found my helmet. Protectin' ma brainwaves
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ImpishToad
  Beware or MLB will get you! Got my helmet and my teddybear...all is not lost.
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
  EEEP!
  WHAAT ABOUT THE ALIENS?!
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ImpishToad
  MLB is funding them, didn't The Simpsons teach you anything?
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
3 More Replies
wolfcharm

Do you know Charile Brown? : )

Feb 19
1 like
NoOne1231

Yes! Look everyone! It's not a moron!

Feb 18
1 like
- ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
  QUICK! COVER ME IN BULLET PROOF GLASS BEFORE I GET ATTACKED BY WOLVES
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- NoOne1231
  Yes because we will shoot lasers out of our eyes. Beware! But really though these wolves are getting stupid. They pretend to growl, bark, and poop. No real werewolf does that. Unless you like the attention.
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
  They pretend to poop? xD
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- NoOne1231
  Probably. :p
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
- ThisIsMediocritiesOldAcc
  Eurgh. Don't wanna hear what that sounds like.
  
  Feb 19
  1 like
2 More Replies
ForgottenCelestria

Sounds like a plan to me :D

Feb 18
1 like

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