Relapse?

It hasnt been that long that I have been off of drugs, and honestly at first I liked living the sober life but now I cant stand it. I sit and think and all I think about is getting high. I just want to feel numb again. I have had a big loss in life not long ago, and I think that was the trigger to all these thoughts, because before it happened I never thought about drugs to much. I now cant get it off my mind. I am trying to stop myself from relapseing but I dont know how long I can do this..

I am not used to feeling pain anymore, because I am so used to running to drugs when I get the slightest feeling of pain. I know that now drugs are the last thing I need right now.. but it doesnt make it any easier to get it off my mind. Sometimes I try to remember the feeling that I would get when I did use.. when I do I feel like I need something to refresh my memory. My life is the last thing I am worried about right, I really dont care if I die or live. I just want to stop the pain.. I pick up the phone a least 20 times a day and dail the number to one of the connections that I have that could get me what I want but I never hit the call button.

I am sick of this boring, unhappy life I am living.. I need something to make me happy again, even if it is just for a couple hours.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
7 Responses May 24, 2012

Drinking lots of water will help you. Meditate as and when possible. Even short sessions of 3 minutes will help you.

lol u sound so much like my life . its weird if u ever want to talk go for it . i dont care if i wake up in the morning or not . i have been in hospital 5 times with overdose trying to end it . but i guess i must b here for a reason . i dont no what but. ending it dose not help . thats taliking from a lot of experience . so if u need a chat ...... chat away if i can help u

you have 2 get a god of ur understanding stay around people who are not using & found a new way 2 live. make meeting keep talking about how u feel oh get rid of the drug dealers number change urs would be good 2 god bless u...

When I quit using I picked up aroma theropy, tea drinking, diet, and exercise.<br />
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When I was mad or angry ide exercise<br />
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When I wanted to relax id dreank tea *non cafieen*<br />
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If I was nervous/ anxious ide use my aroma theropy.<br />
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Eating helthy, and exercise drinking tea and using aroma theropy makes me feel helthy and helps me clear my mind.<br />
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Find good habbits to replace the old bad ones. <br />
I hope this helps you. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me

can any of you help me...i just found out my son is addicted to heroin..what can i do??

Treatment and prayer. My best friend died from an od on that last year she was only 22. Ide call a care crisis line they'll be able to help you out more with options.

im in the same boat dude. <3

i was a acloholic for about when i was 17 till 3 months ago . i went and got a home detox and . i will tell the truth could not cope with all the thoughts in my head plus i had a alcohlic gf . but she got clean i turn to weed to help me though the times u just want to get out your head but she never took weed so we spilt up and 3 months later i am sober . i dont do the 12 step program . because u r not aloud any thing . but i am not telling u that smoking weed is the anwser . i think i just use it the same as drink when i just cant cope anymore i have a smoke . but i will never drink i hope the rest of my life . i lost everthing good in my life for drink . i tryed to take my own life 5 times overdose . but with my doc help and my cpn i am still here and starting a new chapter in my life . all i can say is drink will never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! make your life better good luck