I'm Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired, Still

So I've cleaned up my act and quit all the drugs and most of the sex.
Yet I am still sick and tired.
My parents run my life and only let me go to a few meetings, only let me hang out with few people, and say I need more friends that are girls even though I try to explain I mingle better with boys.
They wont listen to me, it's like they're just waiting for their turn to talk...
I'm tired of living at home, and the only other place I can go is to live with a man ten years older than me who lives with his parents and I'll just end up back where I started; 100 pounds, scabbed up and broken.
I'm really at the end of my journey even though I get 30 Monday, I am really just sick and tired STILL.
I know this takes time but it's taking time I have no patience for.
I need friends, acquaintances and a life full of activities.
I'm so close to done.
I really just want to get high or die,
It's all the same as it was when I was using, I just don't have any where to run to.
Kidd12 Kidd12
18-21, F
4 Responses Jun 9, 2012

hold on, girl...it gets better, I promise. I got clean when I was a teen. living under the microscope of my parents, not having many friends my age who wanted to stop using, it was hard...as much as I wanted to get high I just kept staying around and kept coming back...I kept waiting for me to feel better like the people in meetings told me i would one day..and guess what? I did. I felt better. Today I have an amazing life, a life i would never have had if i WAS STILL GETTING HIGH. DONT LEAVE BEFORE THE MIRACLE HAPPENS.

go to tweekmg69@yahoo.com to further our contact EP doesnt want us communicating do to restrictions i am up to talk if you need to have a friendly ear

Hello, i just have one word for you, DONT. Dont go back to the life, Dont surrender, i read between the lines your not a quitter your a fighter so damn girl fight punch this addiction right in the face and get it out of your way. I know that you are going crazy, you are lonel and felling confind, what you did posting took courage, your asking a bunch of strangers to help, i too am at 30 days and you are right it is so friggin hard but i have you to help me get to day 31 and now you have me, if your mom and dad are pushing to hard, ask them to step back a little, they need to go online and get a list of alanon,i think i spelled that right, anyway this is meetings for family members who live with an addict, they need it too it will help them to no your boundrie issues. Please i am right here dont go back you are loved by so many please fight and stay clean. <br />

hey your post helps me a lot and honestly i've been ******* up but hell i'm standing back on my own two feet and i'll be okay AS LONG AS I DON'T USE. that's what i've learned... my brain is so scattered i can't think straight. all i know is i can't go anywhere 'cuz i'm grounded with no phone for sneaking out and i'm living off caffeine and country. but add me man keep up the convo

I'm a recovering addict myself. I've been clean and sober for 4 months now with a relapse before that and 3 years sober before the relapse. I think about getting high every single day and that my girl is why you need TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. just for today! not yesterday and not tomorrow. Just set a goal for yourself everyday to better yourself and your life and accomplish it and stay focused on it and your sobriety! I know its easier said than done. Believe me. But you truly have to want to be sober to stay sober. You have to have strength and I'm sure you do. Your on here so I know you are smart :) I promise life gets easier and oh so much better when your sober. I just have a natural high now. I'm so much better not waking up for that crap. I know you can do it too! If you ever need anyone to talk to please message me!