I Started Using When I Was 11 Years Old

My aunt she had breast cancer and wasn't doing very well at all. She couldn't take care of herself that good she was to sick. So she came to live at my house. Cause my step mom used to work at a hospital and she just felt safer there I guess. It was me, my dad, step mom, and my 2 brothers and my aunt "we called her nana".. Her real name was Susanna. But, when we was younger we couldn't say her name so she told us to call her nana for short, So it just stuck from then on.. So, 2 weeks before she passed she told me how much she loved me and I told her how much I loved her and we just sat on the couch and cried for a while., I remember that day like it was yesterday.. On October 3rd, 2002 around 3 am.. I was sleeping and heard a terrible loud cry. It woke me up and I found my cousin sitting on the floor just crying his eyes out. I looked at the clock and it was 3 a.m. My heart just dropped cause it was odd for him to be at my house at that hour. I thought to myself he didn't stay the night I wonder what was going on so I asked him and I couldn't understand what he said/ I said what did you say. Then, My aunt Marrissa walks through my door and said I am sorry but nana passed away. I fell off my bed crying. I went down stairs after I some what calmed down and I sat there on the couch and stared at her for 2 hours before they took her out in the body bag. By December of that year I started smoking Marijuanna and drinkin vodka to take away the pain of loosing my nana.. I would just go to friends house and just party all the time.. By 13 I had already shot up heroin, smoking meth, taking pain pills or any kind of pills I could get my hands on.. I would just be numb all the time. So I wouldn't have to think about loosing her. & the pain of being mentally abused by my father and step mom. They would always make fun of my weight n I wasn't even fat. AT ALL!! I started starving myself when I was 12 then that went into becoming innerexic.. By 15 I was so skinny my ribs stuck out almost 2 inches. I ended up moving in with my mom that year cause I got completely smashed one night and told her what all I had been doing and what all dad and them was putting me through. About 6 months after moving in I got rapped. I never told anyone cause I didn't think anyone would believe me. When I was almost 16 my mom moved out of the house and moved in with her boyfriend I didn't want to move in with him so I lived in the house by myself. I worked full time at a 5 star resturant. Sold drugs and did some other things on the side to make more money. I ended up having an expensive drug habbit so I started working with my mom at a convience store I was a cashier, cook I would do all kinds of work around their. They ended up puttin a subway in there, I had already worked at a subway in the past so they made me the manager of it by that time I was 17. I Was makin 1% of what subway made which was quite a bit. I was makin bank that led me to doing more drugs and drink way more By this time I was taking about 15 to 20 pain pills a day and drinking a 30 pack to myself.. After I turned 18 I ended up quitting my job.. On August 6, 2009 I finally hit my rock bottom I overdosed. I went to rehab.. Then when I got out 2 days later I relasped on drinking. then 2 months later I started taking pills again.. 4 months after that I started doing meth again.. Then, When I started doing meth again. I wanted a stronger high so someone showed me how to shoot up. I ended up doing that for 6 months. I loved it. I ended up meeting this guy which is now my husband. And he told me to choose him or the needle and I chose him. We met on June 15th, 2010 since then we haven't spent a night a part.. He also was using when we met but he didn't like the way I was doing it. so I changed that real quick I went back to jsut smoking and snorting it. a couple days before halloween of that year we ended up quitting 3 weeks later I found out I was pg.. after I had our son I started back on pills he was born July 26 2011.. Now I have been going to a methadone clinic for 4 months and haven;'t used since June 14th, 2012.. It gets harder everyday not to use but everytime I want to use I just play with my son and I forget about wanting to use..
lonleywidow lonleywidow
18-21, F
Sep 24, 2012