Restoring MyselfI had my last drink on New Year's Eve to start 2012 with a huge change in my life.
Too many times I thought I'd moderate my drinking. I've found that if you're spending a lot of thought and effort on moderating, you are clearly addicted to having more than 1 glass of alcohol a day. That's right. The healthy range of drinking for women is only one for the entire day. Is that even possible or enjoyable for anyone, I wonder? That's how I used to treat water. Something I could take or leave. But coming home to a house without alcohol because I forgot to buy some after running out? Reason to immediately turn around and get some!
I would keep up the one drink or two drinks a day for a little while, with extreme willpower and feeling deprived, until I would let loose for some reason like a hard day, a happy day, a sunny day, etc. and have drinks until it was time for bed time. Let the good times roll, right?
I am done with that rollercoaster. Unfortunately, my husband is not. I thought it would just be about his feeling strange when I would drink water while he was drinking wine.
As I begin to feel more, have more energy, observe more about our codependent patterns, I see that I have not been very true to myself. Plus, he keeps saying I'm weird and complicated, and that I have now made us incompatible because I will not drink and that I dislike his drunk personality that keeps criticizing me. He's usually much nicer and fun to be with when he's sober or only has a few drinks. But that is as difficult for him as it was for me.
I would love to talk with others going through a similar situation.