Scared.........

SCARED.

I loved the feeling of, when drunk, not being scared of ANYTHING! Im a really shy person normally, and really, suffered with blushing as i was growing up. When i started to drink though these issues just went away, and "I thought" i became more confident, however i now know that i became a bully, i was overpowering and aggressive. Scince iv stopped drinking iv never been more confident! I learnt to finally accept who i was, and the more i now actually get to know people, the more comfortable i feel with them, before i never got to know anybody properly, most of the time i wasnt capable of even holding a conversation anyway!
I was so scared about giving up the drink, it had become my crutch, i used it to deal with every part of my life. One of the worst times, was when i had a drink before going to my sons Parent, teacher meetings at the school, i dreaded the one 2 one, part of it. Knowbody ever knew, but was an awful thing to do to my son.
In the end i ws scared of myself! i knew when i was drunk what i turned into, but i was too ill to stop. My addiction was totally out of control, and everyday i would wake up thinking what did i do last night? I was scared of losing everybody, but the drink was just helping me to literally push these lovely people away.
Now i can so see, that everything i was scared of, was caused by my drinking habit, it made me lose everyone and everything. Now instead of waking up scared i wake up, happy and proud of everything that i now have :)
emmaB7 emmaB7
31-35, F
5 Responses Nov 28, 2012

No matter what happens, just don't drink! If you can do that today, try again tomorrow. Soon, you will see that the easy part is not drinking.

Hi Emma

I have just admitted i have alcohol issues and its so hard.

Out of control! Yes, addiction does go there. Pray!
It is seemingly futile at points, though with consistency, it keys us know we are not alone! Keep up the great work!

Keep it up. You will not regret not drinking. It has taken me a painfully long time to get this right and of course I am not letting my guard down. There are so many obstacles that can bring you down. Keep on keeping on. I don't know you but I'm proud of you.

I am so happy for you. I wish you all the best.

Thank you :)