Relapse

i was doing well. i made it months. the day before school i started drinking again. it was a light drink, but still took the sobriety away.
since that day back in august, i've fallen into that old habit. i havent had anything since november 13th when i had half a bottle of vodka. i hope that that was my last drink, but the way things are going, i have a feeling it wont be
monsterwithinme monsterwithinme
18-21, F
2 Responses Nov 30, 2012

It isn't easy giving up the drink. what you shouldn't do is trying to stop without any form of focus, you need to speak to some one preferably a professional. Look at the reasons why you need that drink, write down when you want a drink this way you'll take away the focus off the drink and focus on your self. Please chat and I may be able to give you ways of not picking up that first drink.

Id love to say that it was a mistake to lose your sobriety. But **** happens for a reason and we NEED to learn from them. I almost jumped off the cliff myself last night and the thoughts in my head were overwhelming. But I read a story last night about the daughter of a recovering alcoholic who resumed drinking. And I cried all last night. Remembering what and who I was to my own daughter. I went to bed sober but woke up with an emotional hangover. We are alcoholics. We need to fight everyday. Just as anyone who has a terminal disease. It doesn't go away. After five years of sobriety I still live day to day without drinking. And times moment to moment. The thought of drinking with me every minute of my life. Stop drinking... Even though it's so much part of your, our, existence. Find a reason....any reason... to not pick up. I have to do this every single day. Already picked up? Let it go and start over.. I was told you can start your day over anytime. Hope you start yours over again.

Powerful response!

And perfectly accurate.

Nine years in a couple of days and at times it is incredibly tough to fight off the temptation.

At those times, I consciously remember what a despicable scumbag I turn into when drunk.

Then do something totally different to force myself to think positive thoughts.

Slipped?

Start again.