Only One..Only one drink. I can drink responsibly. Alcohol is my friend. It won't be so bad this time. A drink will solve all my problems. A drink will give me strength. Power. Freedom. I just want to relax. I want to be me. I don't have to listen to you. I want to be alone with my best friend. I can hide my drinking real well. Hmmm... Sure why not. It'll be different this time. Only one drink....Ain't happening.. I think. I hope. It's hard. That one drink? That will be the end of five hard years is sobriety for me. I cannot make a deal with people around me but I sure can make an easier deal with the devil. But who am I kidding. Only me. Once an allkie,always an alkie. It really doesn't take much to "get there". A place we are accustomed to. A place where we accept ourselves... But only perhaps during that first drink. Then our brains' wires will get crossed. We simply "forget" the pain we have caused to others and to ourselves. We simply "forget" that a drink is not our buddy. And we always forget that we have a real disease that lets us think we can have only one. It won't change anything for the positive, only the negative. So... If you want to pick up a drink just remember that we are who we are. And sobriety is what we want to achieve in the long run. The moment, the hour, the day, the week, the month , the year (s)... it does not matter. We who are alcoholics.... Please don't pick up the first drink, because this time it may not be your last one. And you may die a slow death alone.
ilove2tri 51-55, F 6 Responses 1 Jan 11, 2013