Found Myself Feeding Into It Again...

I found myself feeding into my codependency about 20 minutes ago. This time her words over the phone made me aware that i was doing it.

She asked me "Am I making you frustrated Richard ?".   Well yes, but of course i told her no. She had wanted a phone number from the paper she had left here this morning. The phone number was concerning a job, in which she was to call back early evening.

Of course i had already thrown the paper in the outside trash container by this time. So here i go outside, the paper is at the bottom of a very deep trash container. I can't reach it, so i have to turn it upside down to retrieve the paper. Head back inside and open the want ads. The number she wants is supposed to be under the heading of "painters wanted". She didn't mark the ad, but i give her the only painter ad in there. Not even a "thank you". 

While i was writing the above she has called back many more times, because that number wasn't the correct one. She was also on Craigslist, so i go their too. I just ain't getting her the right number. I mean i'll give her a few numbers and she'll abruptly hang up on me. Then she'll call me back in 10 or 15 minutes, with frustration/anger in her voice as if it's all my fault. i accept the guilt and blame but am processing it all now as i write this.

It's not my fault that she didn't mark, save or write down the number, is it? But I feel as if it is, i mean i could have written that number down for her this morning when she found it right? I could have set it aside and saved it for her. But i wasn't aware that she hadn't done any of those things for herself, and put the paper in her pocket before she left my place this morning. That's what i would have done, personally.

It is helping me to vent about this incident, i can look at it for what it is. Me falling into the trap once again.

~ Richard

justaSeeker justaSeeker
56-60, M
1 Response May 5, 2010

Do you think she takes advantage of your good nature? Is she a strong women with a very distinct personality? Perhaps you are drawn to that type of person because you are shy.<br />
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I've always been the 'people pleaser' myself but I've always very much been the centre of attention as a result of this. She's conditioned into getting her own way with you for so long because you gave her everything she needed. Why would she do things for herself when she knows you will do them for her? I think that's where you need to say something. Don't be afraid of the consequences because you have a right to say how you feel, just as she would to you!<br />
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Please keep in touch!