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When I Was Married

 i developed a co dependent nature because my husband knocked me down ....  then when i left i continued the pattern ..  i HAD to have a relationship to feel whole ... I based my self worth   by  other people not myself and what i had completed .. being in TAP made me  become my own person ... i no longer base my self worth on other people but im still seeking to find myself .. alot of my exp. completely contradict them selves but my opinion about myself changes day to day ....
starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 23, 2007

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Whats TAP?

It was housing place ran by the treatment center i go to for help with my bipolar disorder ....

Oh yeah totally,!!! i think when we have had a life of toxic experience's, abuse, dysfuntional family's, abusive relation ships, we do become codependant, i was too.<br />
Now as i'm away from all that stuff, ivé broken the cycle and am learning to depend on me despite the lonliness! Good on you!! Feflower

In October 2005 I realized I had grown up with child abuse, with my mother teaching me to be the enabler...the one everyone **** on so it would be okay.<br />
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Recovering from that was hell...I know what you mean by experiences contradicting and changing from day to day. <br />
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Trust yourself...You are in the midst of finding your own path...It takes awhile and it takes a lot of pain but...There is happiness and joy on the other side.<br />
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I know because I am there.