5 Years Today

Today is June 1st. Today 5 years ago I the the decision to become clean and sober. When I was 17 I started to snort cocaine and shoot up. I would do it with a friend named Travis. It's just something we did. We were junkies. We would get high and just lay there and talk about things.  It was just something we always were used to. We both came from a bad back round and we knew it was no excuse but we just did it anyway. We each had our own needles and our own drugs.. We never shared with anyone. The only thing we shared was the drug itself every so often when one of us was out. Then when I was 18 I started to work at a ***** club. At first I was a waitress then I became a dancer. The customers would give me the cocaine.  I know it was a bad thing now, but I was such a junkie at the time that I didn't think. Then I met my now husband. And yes, he was a junkie too. I know what you are thinking - 2 junkies not good. Then one day Travis and I were talking and I was telling him about Tom. He told me to take him to NY and see how that goes. Well, we went and about half way up there we both realized that the other one didn't have anything. (A good thing though) and then I stopped at a rest station. At that moment, in the bathroom, at the Maryland House, I looked in the mirror. I don't know if it was me coming down or the light or what it was but I saw myself the way I was. There were dark bags under my eyes. I was very scrawny. I threw water on my face thinking it was my imagination. It wasn't. I exited the bathroom and saw one of those weigh yourself for a quarter things. So I did it. Now I am 5 foot 2 inches. When I got on the scale it read to me 83lbs. I haven't been that light since I was 9 years old!! I got back in the car. Sat behind the wheel. That's when I knew it was time to become sober. I have been sober now for 5 years. It hasn't been easy. But it's a good road to walk down...

FolsomOrchid FolsomOrchid
26-30, F
5 Responses Jun 1, 2008

It has been 9 years and 26 days as of today and I am SO PROUD to say that in those 9 years I have not had a since relapse. Nor have I had the desire/want to put a needle in my arm. I am healthy, I have 3 amazing children and I would never take that away.

Well done. The path to a clean life is very hard. We both share this story.<br />
<br />
Because of the f@@#ed up things we've done it has made our life very hard. <br />
<br />
But life can be beautiful and full of love. You just have to be open to it and then it will flow.<br />
<br />
I suggest long term re-hab. I loved the fact that I finally did this. When I was shooting up I only had one thing on my mind. I tried medication and short term de-toxes. But after this work I ended up using again. I treated my loved ones with contempt.<br />
<br />
I'm a single man now and I've no one to blame but myself. I suggest to everyone thinking of getting of hard-core drugs get the help that is out there. Stop lying and being dodgy in the extreme and reach out for the help that is there.

Congrats I wish you a clean and sober day for the rest of your life

Hey FolsomOrchid, I am a Methadone addict and have a benzo habit plus other pills.It was a boyfriend that got me into drugs but don't get me wrong-I wanted to try it!! I then got together with another meth addict and we are now happily married with a teenage daughter. But drugs have always been in the background. Living with another addict is difficult as you often set each other off!! I'm now on a reduction programme as I've decided that enough is enough!! I am thin and I think I look ill. I never feel well. I want real life back!!! Well Done getting clean, I hope to join you one day!!!

An inspiring story. Thanks for sharing.