How It Started
I remember hearing someone say that cocaine is God's way of telling you that you're making to much money. Think there is some truth to that. For me, making a lot of money and being 19 years old was a treacherous combination, especially when mixed with an unhealthy dose of emotional vulnerability.
Back then, mostly what I cared about was making other people like and accept me. And my way of doing that was to try to be everybody's favorite party girl. Drugs, mainly coke and speed, were a big part of that as were alcohol and promiscuity.
I was close to my 21st birthday when I had myself locked away in a rehab program for three months and that probably saved my life. That was nearly 10 years ago. I won't lie and say there hasn't been any backsliding, but those occurrences have been rare and I think it's fair to describe myself as clean and sober for the most part.
It probably helps that I now make a lot less money then I did back then and have detached myself from the people -- and the life -- that I knew then. And slowly, very slowly, I've started to accept that it's OK if not everyone likes me.