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I Come By My Ep Handle Honestly

I obsess about someone I shouldn't even be in love with.

Then I start a new blog on EP, because I figure it's virtually impossible for anyone I actually know to stumble across it.  This way I can blog and obsess and emote all over the place like an adolescent.

But, like an idiot, occassionally I take a chance, make a contact, express out loud a feeling I didn't mean people to know.  I find her various online personas, but technically I don't figure I'm a stalker, since I don't try to contact her.

A moment of rationality and maturity reasserts itself, and I ask myself, "What the hell am I doing?!"  Because I sure don't want to ruin my life.  I absolutely don't want to crush the lives of people I'm close to.  I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.

But...

There is a madness that's better than sanity, and I am in the grips of it.

I've always been a romantic.  Now it's getting worse :-) and I guess I'm good with it.  I really do feel like an idiot, though.  I'm such an idiot!  I used to have a pretty good self image, and boy, now that's shot all to hell!

romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 3 Responses Jan 19, 2009

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Thank you, TP, you're too sweet. (Did that sound gay just then?!) I can fight the Romanticism or go with it; I decided to go with it, no matter what trouble it causes.

Thanks, tatteredwings. It's easier having fellow travelers.

Been there done that unfortunatly, even now I feel like a total romantic idoit for even trying, so know how you feel