I'm Glad To Be A Sadist

From the time I realized I was a sadist, I didn't think there were other people like me.

I'm so ******* happy I found this group. So many people being 110% honest (hopefully) about their sadistic and masochistic fantasies, I love it!

 

I guess you could say I want to talk to other sadist since I don't know any in my everyday life.

cKing93 cKing93
18-21, M
32 Responses Mar 2, 2010

I am one and so I know what that's like. It doesn't seem to a very well known or well respected or well understood mentality sadly. I'm a Christian too by the way :)

Add a response...

this is funny,
sadists confessing. how stupid can this get you'll sound so weak. you make me puke. I thought sadists didn't have feelings guess I was wrong. burffff blaaaah

I just feel that I would love to tie up a women with her permission and just take complete control over here and see her beg for me. Also her surrendering herself to me like if she was my puppet.

Idk if im a sadist or not, but based on what i read from others experience, i have that too. i always fantasize to torture someone. Like people i met in college, i always imagine to punch, torture or kidnapped them or even do terrible stuff to them. but i never harmed anyone, not even hurt a fly. But i enjoy watching other people hurt. Even if my friend cried or got hurt, i dont feel sympathize to them, i just want to laugh at them. like i said, i dont know if im a sadist or anything.

Im really trying to understand and accept this part of me. I dont like this part of me and i feel really ****** in the head for my sexual arrousal for things like pedo.philia, in.cest, rape, torture, and complete control and domination over another being. Im a sexy redheaded woman, charismatic, intelligent, passionate, full of love and compassion. I too can have pretty much any man I want. I have the most questioning mind out of everyone i personally know. Ive never physically or mentally harmed another human being intentionally. I relate to your post because although i think its awful to hear about animal abuse, when i go home i torture my poor little cat. I dont do anything to permanently hurt him because I wouldn't want to get caught, but i get off on controlling him and doing ****** up things to him. I feel so sick in the head because i really live a moral life and try to make the world a better place. Ive never even shoplifted or stole anything from anyone ever. I guess i pray on my cat because no one will ever find out, im trying to find him a new home because i really dont want to do this to him but something just overcomes me and it gives me such satisfaction from hurting and controlling him. I have rape fantasies with me being the rapist. When I watch a movie or read a story of rape or pedo.philia I get ridiculously turned on. I would never act on my urges because I truly don't want to permanently hurt someone. I wasn't always like this though. I'm not even sure if it's important to figure out why I am the way I am even though I believe I know. if I share why I believe I am this way, it'll for sure turn you sick sadist on lol. I guess I just want to find a way to accept this as part of who I am and find comfort in.knowing I'm not the only who has these ****** up tendencies.

I also want to add, i love affection like kissing and cuddling and i love to please my partner. When being involved with a partner i am definitely a giver and love to make others happy. Its just so wierd to have complete polar opposite pleasures

Hi there im masterleo a total sadist im 55.
i love to hurt I have tortured and killed cats many times but I want more than anything to torture and rape a female
I want to dominate totally
i would love to hear her begging to die so that the agony stops

Id love to talk- message me if you want!

I hide my sadism, amongst other probable personality disorders. I live my life inside my head, fantasising, waiting, anticipating future actions. Secrecy is the only way to survive, hiding the big bad wolf inside, hoping (hope?) one day I will meet someone who is exactly like me. No fear of repulsion or rejection, utter and complete acceptance ending the charade, breaking the facade. Not having to pretend, just the thought of it is soothing. I do have serious doubts about any of you sadists, but one thing I have learned from experience is that people only show you what they want you to see. Only in moments of anger or inebriation are some able to glance behind the curtain. I guess this is a sort of confession, as most believe I am the exact opposite of what I truly am. There is no cure for this insatiable and relentless blood lust driving me to join the army. Having a legal (honorable?) avenue for my sick perverse fantasies of something as old as time itself: war, death, battle, being a killer, becoming someones god. That and my fantasies of sanctioned torture, rape, violence are what get me to question my sanity. Tell me, do I sound normal? Is this standard teenage angst all stemming from raging hormones? Or there something else at work? Something much more devious waiting to begin when the thought is not enough.

Did I forget to mention that listening to muffled screams makes me laugh, although I believe in equal and fair opportunities and despise those that prey on the defenceless, something about that sound makes me feel something, something I can't explain.

I agree that a lot of people in this thread seem to be over exaggerating on the blood and laughter side of it, portraying themselves as being evil rather than someone whom derives sexual or mental satisfaction from the pain, control and the breaking of another. Those focusing on the blood and injuries themselves are not true sadists in my eyes for they are not acknowledging the mental breaking of another, which is the ultimate power to hold over a person. <br />
<br />
However I myself am not a sadist, yet I find it quite easy to manipulate the majority of people. I am not claiming to be some kind of brilliant mind that enjoys twisting people or bending them to my will. Not at all, in fact I find it too easy, I don't really see the big deal. Yet I have always had control over my own life and no one has ever managed to control me. Due to being raised in a single parent house hold I have always made decisions for myself, I've had to be in control of what I am doing, never just told how to act. <br />
<br />
That is why I am posting here; while I am not a sadist, and I am not directly sexually or mentally satisfied from the idea of being hurt or cut, a huge part of me is turned on from the idea of being controlled, for someone to be strong enough that I don't get a choice, no matter how much I fight (which I would) I will be overcome. I would just have to deal with pain or torture, and while I do not want to be hurt, I want to be controlled.<br />
<br />
The biggest point I want to make is that I am not a submissive or a masochist that I know of, and I do not seek pain or like the idea of doing what someone says, I like the idea of fighting as much as I can to no avail. Any opinions on this matter from the S/M community?

None of you are sadists. Except for that guy who abused animals that lives in Texas. But he's just a real freak. And you all are pathetic. You have no idea what's it like to be sadist. It's when you love animals so much that you gonna torture anyone who made them feel pain, no matter how much stronger they are. But then you come home and hurt your innocent dog out of no reason. You know that u gotta stop right now, otherwise it'll die, but you fukcing can't. You see scare in their eyes n it makes you go on. If you have a strong will you'll make yourself stop. You'll be so sorry you been so cruel to the poor thing, but you can't help it and do it again in a month or so. You don't feel sorry when you torture people, you attack them both physically and psychically, you cause drama and pain, people get that you're crazy but u kinda own them n manipulate. I have tortured people so bad. I have made some really strong men cry emotionally attacking them. I also have put them into situations where they could die from pain. Cause if I hurt someone I don't call emergency as I'm afraid of being charged for the crime. I just let them lie on the floor choking and crying. But strangely these people keep liking me in spite of all the bad things I repeadetly do to them. I guess my madness is sorta exciting so they'd want just to b friends with me. Like those women who like their kidnappers. Yea I've also psychically tortured girls and even my mom. Cause she's to blame for me being crazy. She'd been dominating and abusive to me. Now I can't normally relax if I don't see tears in her eyes. I know it's crazy, but she deserves. I'm also thinking of killing people whom I dislike. And I want to kill gays and masochists. Because I hate both of them. All sadists hate masochists. We can never be friends. You Maso's are pathetic. Trust me you better don't get involved with us. That d be best for you.

tbh i have thought of cutting someone's leg and then raping them. but there's the problem. i can't hurt the woman i like, so id have to find some woman that i dislike to do that. but then again, i cant have sex with someone i dont like . so its difficult. i guess id do that to man. imho just raping is pointless. i can easily get any woman i want.

but what if she doesn't? it wouldnt be exactly a rape. it would be an everyday crap. and i wouldnt get happy after just raping someone. it's obviously not enough

id rape her as a matter of principle then. but i would make her feel so good in bed while raping, so shed scream like crazy and ask me go on. but then id just stop n make her beg me to fukc her on her knees. tell her things like that shes ugly n bad in bed so i dont wanna fukc her anymore and would rather fukc someone else. till she feels so bad even suicidal. i'll absolutely own her, all her feelings. then i might physically injury her too. just a little so shed understand how wrong she was saying mean things to me. and then well its just too much to type. i think u got the idea

id probably kill n forget her

i dont think i can really love anyone

even then. if she hates me, then i hate her too. literally i hate people who hate me. i want to die those i hate.

i loved my grandma.

She didn't love me when I needed it as a kid. So I started to hate her

me neither

Im really trying to understand and accept this part of me. I dont like this part of me and i feel really ****** in the head for my sexual arrousal for things like peedophilia, inccest, rape, torture, and complete control and domination over another being. Im a sexy redheaded woman, charismatic, intelligent, passionate, full of love and compassion. I too can have pretty much any man I want. I have the most questioning mind out of everyone i personally know. Ive never physically or mentally harmed another human being intentionally. I relate to your post because although i think its awful to hear about animal abuse, when i go home i torture my poor little cat. I dont do anything to permanently hurt him because I wouldn't want to get caught, but i get off on controlling him and doing ****** up things to him. I feel so sick in the head because i really live a moral life and try to make the world a better place. Ive never even shoplifted or stole anything from anyone ever. I guess i pray on my cat because no one will ever find out, im trying to find him a new home because i really dont want to do this to him but something just overcomes me and it gives me such satisfaction from hurting and controlling him. I have rape fantasies with me being the rapist. When I watch a movie or read a story of rape or peddophilia I get ridiculously turned on. I would never act on my urges because I truly don't want to permanently hurt someone. I wasn't always like this though. I'm not even sure if it's important to figure out why I am the way I am even though I believe I know. if I share why I believe I am this way, it'll for sure turn you sick sadist on lol. I guess I just want to find a way to accept this as part of who I am and find comfort in.knowing I'm not the only who has these ****** up tendencies.

7 More Responses

There are a lot of individuals on EP that seem to like to eat alive-rape-gang rape and /or torture people but i have been trying to get my self raped-gang raped and kidnapped and torture since i was 14 and i'm still trying. It's just confusing thats all with so many of you out there i am really confused why no one has done any of it to me yet.

raping is not quite sadistic. rapers think about what they themselves feel, and sadists think more about what how bad their victim feels while being with them. so its not like you can get a sadist if you WANNA be raped. but u can get some guy who cant normally get sex in life and needs to be sexually satisfied. its kinda another group of people . nothing to do with sadists

I'm kind of switching lately, which disturbes me a lot.
If you, or someone else, is interessted in some thoughtexchange, i'm.

I am only 14 but putting people through misery really pleases me. An example being when I constantly hit a student at my school with my bag, and each time he told me to **** off I just felt myself enjoying it more. I once put my dog inside a Basket, not to injure him just to see what he would do. I love Animals so much and hate the thought h t of hurting one, as well as indulging in the thought of it. Another example was when I went into such detail about brutally murdering someone in my English exam, my teacher insisted On me seeing help. I'm so released I am not the only Pacheco Dexter out their. Any ideas on how to quench these urges?

I agree. I live in a very small town and texas and people arent very... accepting of me. The ones who know look at me with such idk fear. Fear is the only way i can describe it and i like that very very much. The ones who dont think im this amazing person. It started for me as long ago as i can remember and with family pets. When my dog would do something wrong or that i didnt like i would rap a belt around its neck and spin around until its body was swinging through the air. I would keep on like this until i saw its tongue poking out between its teeth and it wasnt fighting anymore. I would stop let it gets its breath and start all over. All the while laughing to the point i almost urinated on myself. I never knew why things like that were so funny to me and not others. Afterward i would feel so very guilty i would take the poor animal in my arms and kiss and cuddle it. It didnt stop me from doing it again though. I killed many pets in my youth. Once i put a dog under a crate and stabbed it repeatedly with sticks until it yelped. It would growl at me and this would **** me off so bad!! I felt like it should take its punishment and like it. I left that dog under my house under the crate and abused it to my liking. Eventually it died from starvation. I did not feel bad this time. I grew up and and had two children and vowed to never kill again. I would torture to my liking but i would not kill. I was afraid i would be disciplining my child and accidently... I derive NO SEXUAL pleasure out of any of this. That is a lie. I do get some sexual arousal out of it but not so much that i have to **** or materbate to relieve myself. No. It feeds a deeper need within myself that i have never discovered.

I would love to hear more too...

People like you who torture animals should just rot in Hell. I only clicked on the above post because I have a soft spot for sexual sadists. You, however-I hope someone does to you what you did to those animals-I might just laugh til I peed.

I totally get this.

yep... pain and death causes so much sexual arousement... i would like to know more too

I just found out I was sadist. I love to hear people scream, and the sight of blood. I love causing it, and watching a knife slice through skin. It gives me goosebumps, and turns me on.

I've been a sadist since I was 11.<br />
I got in a fight with a few people, I beat'em up. But since then it didn't matter whether I was dealing the pain or taking it. It all feels good.

hey-o. I'm a non-sexual masochist. I am so interested in S&M, always have been... only recently have I accepted this part of me as a good thing and I never want to go back! <br />
<br />
I have to ask you (and anyone else reading this, feel free to respond!), is your sadism specifically a sexual thing? Also, do you enjoy hurting people even when it isn't consensual? Consent (between ADULTS) is the bottom line for me, so I can't really comprehend sadism that's directed at the unwilling... Any thoughts on this? <br />
<br />
Feel free to be honest, or to tell me to **** off. I understand that this is personal! Also please know that I am trying to understand this, so even if you say something that I'm not personally OK with I will not try to change your mind, guilt trip you or judge you! Believe me I know what it's like to argue with people who will just never understand this stuff...

I'm not sure if this was directed at the OP only or not (and if so feel free to ignore this), but personally, for a long time, I was completely incapable of enjoying the idea of consensual sadism. Lately, that's changed a bit, but for the most part, non-consent is still my thing. For me, there's this feeling that the domination/power isn't *real* if the person you're doing it to is willing. You're still doing something they want, and it's something they're letting you do (since they can tell you you're going too far and make you stop at any time) so the power just isn't so absolute. I love the idea of breaking someone, truly shattering everything they are and turning them into a shell of their former selves. I love to hear screaming and begging and to see blood. I love the idea of creating a slave who will obey any and every order I give no matter how much what I tell them to do makes them sick, humiliated, and/or in pain. And then, when they've become truly empty, I want to dispose of them like the object I've made them into. It's not something I'd ever do, because of moral constraints and beliefs, but it gets me off (yes sexually but also just emotionally). For the longest time, it was the only thing that got me aroused.
Just my personal experience with non-consent.

I'm a christian, and I feel SOOO bad for being a sadist! I'm 15 and I discovered it last year, how do I tell my parents and friends? I feel so gross

Message me if you like. I "found out" what I was (and by that I mean learned the word and that it was a thing) when I was 12. I felt terrible about it for years, but I've slowly come to accept it. Your question is a bit vague, and I'd like to try to give you some advice, but I'd have to know some more specifics first.
I'm currently 20 years old, and I've had feelings of sadism since I was about 6. I am a Christian. I hope I can be of some assistance to you. PM me or email me (I'll PM you my email address).

It appears that I can't PM you my email, so email me at twistedsystem42@yahoo.com.

well what i did was to tell only my closest friends at first to build up a support group so that if my parents dont accept my sadism i can always fall back to that support group, and then you just have to sit your parents down and explain to them that you're sadistic

i'm 13 and i found out that i'm a sadist :) <br /><br />
But in school, i gotta hide it :p

I'm a masochist. If there's anything you wanna talk about with the opposite side of the spectrum.. I'm here(;

Me too!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad there are people like me out there. i love destroying people, both literally and emotionally. it gives me happiness to see other people suffer!!! hahahahahahhha. i take a lot of pride in being evil. May the world beware.

lol im sadistic and i love blood too. one time when i was in english i found a vid on youtube of a ice hockey getting his throte cut by a blade. the room was quiet and then you just head me laughing like a maniac and on the floor . sooo much blood!! it was so funny!

hey guys,<br />
<br />
i would love to watch you all get by a train.. and then **** on your remains...<br />
<br />
Glad i found this group!

You can talk to me if you like. Are you into blood? I love it. The look of it, the feel, the smell, the taste...oh it excites me. And the symphony of screams... heavenly.

Ive also been a sadist since i was 11. It caused me to undergo deep physcological battles and pain. How did you deal with trying to understand your sadism...?

thats why you dont "know any"

Most sadists are quiet about their sexual fantasies to the outside world. Same with serial killers rapists, pedos' etc. And thats for obvious reasons.

You can talk to me anytime, and i fell the same way its awesome that there's group for people like us, and to know that i'm not just some sick freak.

snippy snippy snap crack

heheh, Sathanas and MrSadist, the masters of dark fantasies, you sure have gotten their attention

how it was started???

I've been a sadist since I was about 14

agree with you for being honest about yourself.do you mind to tell me since when you're being a sadist?