3 Years Of Waiting....for Nothing?


I just wanted to write this because I do feel so helpless.

A quick little back story on my husband and I, we were married in late 2006. I was 21 and he was 20 and had been together for 2 years already; a couple days after our marriage he had to ship off to San Diego where he is stationed in the Navy. He has been there ever since while I have lived back home in Wisconsin. So we had a long distance marriage relationship for about 3 years consisting of phone calls and occasionally one of us would fly out to see each other like every 5 - 6 months. Even when we actually did see each other, it was for like only a week long period. There were many reasons why we decided that I should stay here in home: to save money (since the military does give married couples more money), I had a good job here, and of course family and friends are here for me. Anyways, we did have a really bad year in 2009, our phone calls were more brief, My husband's dad died in January, we had some bad arugements which consisted of me at one point saying "I want a divorce". I of course didn't mean that which I have told him. I simply wanted him to see how frustrated I was about he never wanted to talk to me for a long time on the phone, how I was frustrated about our whole situation and that we could hardly be together long enough to work things out. And we never actually sat down and discussed our issues, granted we only had like a week together to do so but we never really did sit down. He is in his second and last deployment which began in Septemember 2009. We have been communicating like usual through emails. During this time period, his emails to me were basically questioning our relationship and most recently he said he couldn't see us being happy when he gets out from the Navy this summer.

Our relationship has never been perfect, I know that. The main issues of our relationship has been separation, distance, military marriage, and arguing. There are no issues of abuse, alcoholism, or infidelity. Also, we do not have any children. His deployment is done in mid-April and he is coming back to WI in beginning of May. How he is coming back (as my husband) is up in the air.  He has even stopped saying I love you in emails.  He does email me every day, just really short.  He says he so stressed out and depressed, I don't know what to do.

I just feel so helpless, I just don't know what is going on or how to save my marriage. Or how to convince him to at least try together in person.

I'm not looking for answers, or i don't know...it feels good to write this but I just don't know what to do.

lovelysun lovelysun
22-25, F
Mar 31, 2010