I always knew I was different when it came to religious beliefs. I do believe there is a God and Devil but not to what other religions make them out to be. When I was a child, my one aunt use to try to get me to go to church. She was raised by my grandmother as a Baptist. Lucky my family wasn't completely "holy roller" but close enough. My mother was brought up Mason. Not Freemason, mind you. Although I can't figure that religion out. My father was brought up baptist. Neither of my parents practiced nor tried to talk me into either one. As I got older I tried to discover which religion suited me but nothing caught my eye. At first I never thought Satanism really existed. I thought it was something Hollywood loved to glorify in their horror movies.
A few months after I got married to my husband, we were asked by a close friend to be god-parents to her little boy. We accepted and agreed to go to the baptism at a nearby christian church. My husband was brought up in a catholic family but didn't practiced it. I was on the parking lot and didn't feel comfortable. I sat down in the pews and felt worse. We sat through the service and stood with the mother and child as they were getting baptised. There were probably 15 other people standing with us. There was a prayer that we all had to say. I said the opposite in whisper. I denounced God the whole time without skipping a beat and it didn't frighten me at all. After the service ended and we went into the next room for a gathering brunch, my husband and I felt so out of place. We didn't give off a "don't come near me" attitude. No one talked to us at all. I felt like the plague. They showered the mother and her son with all open arms. But they showed that they wanted nothing to do with us. Normally people would be open to meet and greet but not these people.
After feeling like an out of place nobody, my husband I headed into town to air out. I thought long and hard about my final decision in beliefs. I told my husband that I felt I am not a child of God at all and that I go for "devil" beliefs. I mean I've completed quite a bit of sins exceot for a few. I have commited the 7 deadly sins so I knew my pass into Heaven was in flames. My husband didn't even flinch. He said, "you're not the only one". In high school, he dabbled in the subject of satanism but didn't practice it much after life kicked in. He took me to the nearest bookstore and bought me The Satanic Bible. He told me to read it and see what I thought. I never read such a compelling book. I had to read it more than once to fully understand it since I'm not that well rounded of a reader. Since then I have on and off practiced witchcraft and learned about satanism. I was even baptised as a Luciferian by a fellow satanist. I don't think it was full pledge but its not like you can find a satan church on each corner like other churches so sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. But deep down it made me feel that no other religion could ever touch me. I know a lot of people are gonna knock me for this. And I'm at a point that I no longer care. All I ask is if you don't like it, then don't talk to me. Why waste your time disrespecting people? Doesn't God preach to not judge?