How To Date A Scorpio/taurus/gemini/aries... The Dangers Of Astrology.

You want to know how to date any of the above signs? The answer is simple. JUST BE YOURSELF.

Just be yourself would be my advice for any man/woman wanting to be in a relationship. Though it is good to understand how someone functions, I think it also important to maintain your own character and individuality throughout a relationship. These topics, "how to date a scorpio/libra/taurus etc", can mistakenly cause the reader to start changing themselves inorder to win the affection of the desired target. This is similar to manipulation. You are taking what you know about someone, changing your character accordingly and essentially deceiving someone into believing that you are something that you're not. You turn into a chameleon. And though this may work for a while, you have to ask yourself. "How long can I keep this up?"

I am ashamed to say I tried this. It seemed to work as I seemed to understand the person I was dealing with. I was not trying to take advantage of the person. No, I genuinely cared for this individual... Okay I'll be honest, I WANTED HER and I was gonna have her, even if it meant changing my persona. So I started to change colour like a chameleon, learning her likes and dislikes. I catered to this persons needs so much that I ended up losing myself, not being me, doing things I normally wouldn't do, and I was getting really frustrated doing this. Long story short I couldn't keep this up. I couldn't force myself to carry on pretending knowing that the things she did bugged me tremendously but I could not complain because I knew this was part of who she was. I learned a valuable lesson then. If you can't be yourself with someone, friend or lover, you are best going in seperate ways. Compromise is expected in every relationship, but not so much where your character is concerned.

The biggest and most important lesson that I learned was this. SOME PEOPLE JUST AREN'T COMPATIBLE. So if you find yourself having to sensor your emotions, your desires, your wants and needs you're in trouble. I know I'm possessive, it is part of my nature. But guess what? There are women out there who love the feeling of being possesed, not controlled, there is a difference. I am aggressive, possibly even dominant. There are women out there who looooove to feel dominated or to be aggressively pursued. Hey, I don't understand it myself, all I know is, the world is far too big a place to be settling for someone who cannot appreciate you for who you are. Who you have to change your character for in order to make them happy.

I do not deny that our character and behaviour can get out of control, a balance needs to be struck in some areas. But to ask someone to stop being a certain way, to pretend to be someway inclined, to hide one's true character just to ensnare another...??? Well that's down right sinister, borderline evil.

I actually never used to believe in astrology, but looking at my own character analysis I can conclude that some of it is uncannily accurate so I believe there is something to be said about it's authenticity. I would use it to learn about myself and maybe even use it to understand my partner, someone I am already in love with and someone that loves me for me. We could learn about each other and grow together. But I WOULD NOT use it to learn about someone that does not love me. Someone I would like to trap, trick or persuade by ungainly means. I would not use it this way. I would certainly not use it as a means to select a partner because ultimately, people are different. You could end up rejecting a genuinely good person because you THINK you know them. After all, you read their horoscope right? "Oh those scorpios are terrible. All they think about is sex, sex, SEX..." That is not wholy true :-) We also want money, power and control. Haha... You get my meaning? People are much more than horoscopes.

There is also the added danger in that you could focus so much on your astrological sign that you forget to work on your flaws. You can actually begin to claim some of the said weaknesses in your sign. Thus "settling" for the attitude that says, "That's just who I am, you can either take it or leave it..." Whereas you need to listen when people point out a perceived weakness in you, assess their assertions and evaluate whether you are willing to make the change or not. You CAN change certain aspects of your character. I know I tend to get jealous, sometimes even unreasonably so, but that does not mean that I have to succumb to that jealousy. I have to keep it in check, and with enough practise, the jealousy is manageable. I have often told my lovers, "I can and probably will get jealous at some point, if this ever gets too much for you, please let me know and I will do my best to control this urge..." Needless to say it is not always smooth sailing, but it's a start.

Anyway, my point was and is this. Don't let horoscopes be your guide to selecting a mate. Let it be a tool to understand but not to manipulate.

I hope that made sense.
Scorpio1987 Scorpio1987
22-25, M
6 Responses Apr 10, 2012

As an athiest I just don't believe in this astrology bullshit.
Believing in these lame things means that you are giving your power away to something which doesn't even exist. Even then bible says that astrology is bullshit.

Well, that is your right and I respect your opinion on the subject. As I said in my post, I never believed in astrology either, until a close friend who does believe in it started telling me some things about myself that she really could not have known. That led me to study further on the subject of astrology.

Astrology is not as mystical as most would like to think. There are scientists who believe in its validity. I personally feel there is a lot to be said about this. But I am not a scientist so I cannot swear by it. I am however somewhat puzzled by some of the things we as humans experience on this planet. And though I am open to the idea of there being "something more" out there, I remain sceptical and wait to be proved wrong. One thing I know for sure is that I cannot know for sure, everything that makes up this universe. That is simply impossible.

I have also studied astrology and the logic behind planets affecting what happens to you in life is as lame as it could get.
Your friend might have told you somethings about yourself but that is how astrologers run their business. It is simply NLP(Neuro Linguistic Programming)
Okay do one thing. Fool your mind into believing that you are some other star sign. Now start reading about it. Don't be surprised if you can relate to it as well.
That is how it works.

I hear what you're saying and you make very good points. But I can honestly tell you that I NEVER believed in astrology nor did I study my own star sign until this friend of mine began telling me things about myself I had never attributed to the fact that I am a scorpio. So my query was, how could she know things about me I have never told a soul? I was quite impressed. That is when I began to look further into the subject of astrology.

There are ALWAYS different ways to look at the same situation. Figure out the angles and pick the one that suits your goal.
Eg:1."It’s a woman’s right to choose because it’s her body. Abortion is murder because it stops a beating heart."
2."The end justifies the means. The means are not justified by the end result."

Oh, you thought they meant X? Silly you, they meant Z. Sure, they may get called on what they are doing, or maybe not. At worst, everyone has a little giggle. Have you ever seen a real fortuneteller do their thing? That stuff is almost believable. They practice, and so should you.

I hope this finally makes it clear for you-
"Studies in Ethnornethodology by Harold Garfinkle

Garfinkel suggests that the way individuals bring order to, or make sense 1 of their social world is through a psychological process which he calls I "the documentary method." This method firstly consists of selecting certain facts from a social situation which seem to conform to a pattern, and then making sense of these facts in terms of the pattern. Once the pattern has been established, it is used as a framework for interpreting new facts which arise within the situation.
To demonstrate the documentary method in action, Garfinkel set up an
experiment in the Psychiatry department of a university. He asked a number of students to take part in the experiment, telling them that it involved a new form of Psychotherapy. The students were invited to talk about their personal problems with an 'advisor' who was separated from them by a screen. They could not see the advisor and could only communicate with him via an intercom. They were to ask him a series of questions about their problems to which he would respond by answering either 'yes' or 'no'. What the students didn't know was that these responses were not authentic answers to the questions posed but a
predetermined sequence of yes and no answers drawn from a table of random numbers.
Garfinkel found that, although there was no real consistency in the answers given to the questions asked, the students nevertheless managed to make sense of them, discerning some underlying pattern in the advice they were being given. Most found the advice reasonable and helpful.
This was so even when, as must inevitably happen when answers are given randomly, some of the advice was contradictory. Thus, in one case, a student asked: "So you think I should drop out of school then?" and received a 'yes' response. Surprised by this he asked, "You really think I should drop out of school?" only to be given a 'no' answer. Rather than dismissing the advice as nonsense, the student struggled to find its meaning, looking back for a pattern in the advisors' responses, referring back to previous answers, trying to make sense of the contradiction in terms of the advisors' knowledge of this problem. Never did it occur to the student to doubt the sincerity of the advisor.
What the students were doing throughout these counselling sessions, Garfinkel argues, was constructing a social reality to make sense of an often-senseless interaction. By using the documentary method, they were able to bring order to what was in fact a chaotic situation."
Simon Poore (2000)

Got it now?

2 More Responses

I like this "Oh those scorpios are terrible. All they think about is sex, sex, SEX..." That is not wholy true :-) We also want money, power and control. Haha... " that's funny :-D but true :-/ no seriously I agree use it as a tool it maybe an insite on your own feeling and personalities and maybe someone elses too but its more than just horoscopes that make the person you have to think about how they gew up the situation they've been through all this can change a person my sister and I are both Scorpio but she is still very different from me we do have a lot of the same Scorpio traits and I can even tell her sometimes how she feels about a situation when shes not really telling me how she feels because I would feel the same way however there are many situations that we differ on and we grow up in the same household but she was sent way on her own accord to live with my grandma so... and if you were to go off of the horoscopes you would think that we would have identical thinking processes we date differently we have different wants needs and so on for example there is this barber who cuts my nephews here I went to the shop today to give my sister money so she could get my nephews hair cut she's been going here for quite some time the barber when I saw him was the hottest guy I have ever seen I'm talkin movie star status I would have pursued him the moment I seen him but she did not she has her reasons I told her I was thinking of revoking her Scorpio card so all in all even though we are both Scorpio we are both different same goes for my father who is also Scorpio and my cousin who is also Scorpio we have a lot of scorpions in our family :-)

Wow. That's a lot of scorpios. Must be one sexy family. ;-) I'm glad you not only found my little post entertaining but true. I'd like to think it is. :-)

Yes we are on sexy family thank you! It's very true one can ultimately only come to that conclusion thank you for the post

Scorpio - Never change yourself for anyone!!! Ever!!!

Tru dat.

TRUE! people are much mor ethan hroscopes.

Indeed we are :-)

I agree with you also the reason for these charts are not for someone to change to match another person it's just to get insite on some of the other signs and it gives a small amount of what to expect of some of the things that maybe a personality trait always experience things for yourself. they say Sagittarius and Scorpio don't mix after a while well there's one sag I get along great with the other not so much

Astrology is ba<x>sed largely on synchronicity: "As above, so below". It's a valid piece of the puzzle as far as I'm concerned. I studied astrology for a bit and some of the instructors were PhD's in scientific fields (I was initially really surprised). I don't think that there was one person below a Masters degree, actually. Bright, capable people who were not easily conned by bullshit.<br />
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I have found melding my chart with close friends/romantic partners' charts VERY interesting. There is one aspect I have in my chart (Sun Conjunct Mercury ) that almost always shows up with people I have a strong mental connection with. <br />
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In any case, when people dismiss it entirely, I usually ask, "Oh, how long have you studied it for? Oh... never? OK" LOL... However, you don't EVER want to go by the newspaper horoscopes, unless just for fun. Always look at a full chart reading with your birth time, etc. Like you stated: use it as a tool, not the end all. It's very interesting.

Thank you RedRubies. Without repeating everything you just said let me just say that I agree. Newspaper horoscopes are just a joke. A friend of mine was always interested in astrology, something which I was always TAUGHT to dismiss but never actually investigated. Well, i did a brief study of it, firstly on myself then on a few people whom I really know, family members etc and I was astonished by my findings. It's amazing to know that you may actually know more about someone than they actually know about themselves. I say this because a lot of what my chart stated I had felt but never quite understood nor was I able to articulate some of those feelings. In essence astrology helped me understand certain things about myself. A bit of self discovery never hurt anybody, on the contrary I think it is good for the "soul". However, I would still advise caution and not let it "run/plan my life" so to speak. That's a recipe for disaster I feel. Thank you for your input Red. :-)

My husband and I are both Gemini's with completely different personalities. Mind you I'm on the cusp of Gemini/Taurus and he's on the cusp of Gemini/Cancer so maybe that makes the difference. We also score very differently on the MBTI tests. I'm an ENFP (which actually kind of has Gemini traits) and he's an ISTJ.

Nice post, the best part is observing ppl and then getting to know who's from who...<br />
Every sign has its pros and cons and every individual has different signs in their chart, whatever that is in astrology world. Thus id have to agree with the compatibility part some ppl are mutual in their understanding due to their element OR by putting effort to make it work, simple. We have heard many stories abt couples who are compatible yet broken up or with different desires not in each other and with others who are totally different than them, to each its own. Feelings are in god's hands after all. To be real and be ourselves is deceiving initially even to ourselves, and we follow the start signes hoping to solve our mystery, all we like to do is please the loved one, keep an eye with what they like and dislike(like how u mentioned) and with time u start to lose urself and letting go gradually of ur originality and maybe putting up with someone's BS or Crrrap under the name of love and compromise. Back to the point, personally speaking i like to be possessed, owned and jealousy doesn't bother me unless it starts to avoid the air reaching to my lungs(and im a libra, huh), maybe its due to personal needs and fulfillment to feel and be felt, maybe bcoz of the different signs in my chart (leos,scorps,virgos) i dont even feel that im a libra to my core O.O<br />
Being oneself is the best way to find love and many out there like JUST U without being a chameleon, yet effort is advisable to make it work. Knowing oneself, ur value, worth and limits is a virtue that many have not discovered or calculated it yet.

There is so much in this I hardly know where to start. I agree with some of your points and I am not quite sure what you mean in some of your other statements. I shall give this more thought and get back to you when I have more time to respond. No half baked responses round here :-)

Well that is true even without looking at horoscopes people try to change themselves based upon what is expected its a pattern some people cant avoid when meeting someone but thats why you don't jump head first into a relationship you get to know the person first so the real effort should be to like you mentioned to know yourself so you don't change once you get in a relationship....