Burst Your Troubles With Scuba Bubbles

I started scuba diving 3 years ago. I started off being an Open Water Diver.. thereafter took Advanced OWD just so I could learn more and dive deeper..

Half way thru, JB took up the same lessons. Not only were we an item.. we were also diving buddies since then.  During our time together, we both took up Underwater Photography, O2 Provider and then passed our Rescue Diver course too.  Just as my skies were rainbows everyday, a news came along telling me JB working contract here is expiring.  Knowing that long distance relationship is difficult... I hand on to the words he said telling me he will be back to complete our Dive Master together..  He moved on to work in Abu Dhabi.

A month after he arrived Abu Dhabi, he decided to take on Dive Master in Dubai instead of returning here .. When I got the news from him, I was devastated.  It felt like part of my life disappearing...   He didn't felt the pain he caused... Could it be thats the way he is... or could it be he couldnt' care less how I feel over here? I don't know...  I did commented and asked him why did he not kept to his words... His answer was 'He was thinking since he could complete the DM course in Dubai, he might as well do it'.  The answer was as simple as that ..

Months passed and he suggested I should take EANx (Nitrox Air) course .. Less decompression time... Less Nitrogen absorb by our body.  I took the course in Abu Dhabi with very little guidance from him.  I did well in the exam even though there are mathematical involved which has always been my weak subject since young but I made it thru Nitrox exam.

3 mths ago, I decided to complete my DM course here...  I thought I had managed to get thru the painful 'left behind' feeling after JB proceeded with DM without me... but I was wrong.   I failed my first 2 papers.  I have never fail any of my diving exams since the day I joined...

I was very disappointed with myself.  I dropped the course completely till today... I realised I actually have not got thru the sadness ....

Each time I go into my bedroom... The moment I stare at most of my diving gears... tears run down my cheeks.  I wished I could pull thru this sadness that JB caused.... and carry on diving... but time and time again, I realised he has caused a scar to my diving life.....

Eternal Eternal
31-35, F
Mar 13, 2010